I'm reading: Heaven Can Wait

Finished Heaven Can Wait by Cally Taylor. The blurb read very interesting (just the type of novel I enjoy). I can't get enough of chicklit lately, and together with my sci-fi-cum-paranormal interests I thought I was really going to enjoy this one. And I did, honest. It was a quick and easy read with some genuine teary moments.

I suppose I was disappointed that the paranormal part of it was dismissed and treated lightly (escalators into heaven), but the romance was there and the chit-litty feel. Some of the comedy scenes seemed to be there just for laughs and didn't feel part of the story, but the actual story was interesting and the comedy made me giggle (loved the bit when she poured wine over gran's head!).

Read it for yourselves, and see what you think. Was I unfair in my review?

Here's the blurb:

'What would I do without you, Lucy Brown?' he said, and kissed me softly. I held his face in my hands and kissed him back. I felt that life just couldn't get any more perfect. And I was right, it wouldn't. By the end of the next day, I'd be dead.

Lucy is about to marry the man of her dreams - kind, handsome, funny Dan - when she breaks her neck the night before their wedding. Unable to accept a lifetime's separation from her soulmate, Lucy decides to become a ghost rather than go to heaven and be parted from Dan.

But it turns out things aren't quite as easy as that. When Lucy discovers that Limbo is a grotty student-style house in North London she's less than thrilled. Especially after meeting her new flatmates: grumpy, cider-swilling EMO-kid Claire; and Brian, a train-spotter with a Thomas the Tank Engine duvet and a big BO problem. But Lucy has a more major problem on her hands - if she wants to become a ghost and be with Dan she has to complete an almost impossible task. How the hell does a girl like Lucy find a girlfriend for the dorkiest man in England? IT geek Archie's only passions are multi-player computer games and his Grandma.

But Lucy only has twenty-one days to find him love. And when she discovers that her so-called friend Anna is determined to make a move on the heart-broken, vulnerable Dan, the pressure is really on...

My Diary: sending to agents

October 2009
The first agent I tried was Kate Schafer Testerman, Founder and Agent of kt literary. The submission guidelines said I could inquire by email, which I did. They also specialised in romance and women's fiction, which A Proper Charlie is.


I wrote my query letter, polished my synopsis and clicked send. Sounds easy doesn't it? But honestly I sweated blood over the synopsis!


Anyway a few days later I was turned down by return email.


The next was Eugenie Furniss from William Morris Agency in London, which also represents romance and general fiction. This agency prefers submissions by post. I shall give them three weeks and then I'll post out another submission.


15th November 2009

Still no reply, so I'm submitting Charlie to CDLA. This has an interesting policy where you send the first 50 pages and the last ten of your ms. They ask for as much detail about the book in the query letter as possible, and want a CV (that'll be short!) and a synopsis (yeh!!! I LOVE writing synopsis - not!). They also aim to reply within 10 days so that's good. 

Fingers and everything possible will be crossed.

S'funny, even though I've a box full of rejections (from other novels) I always feel optimistic when I'm pushing the brown envelope into the letterbox.

You're in Waterstones, what has inspired you to pick up that particular book?

So, what makes you pick up a certain book?


The author?
Blurb?
The cover design?


Enter the poll and see the results. It seems (so far, and it's only day one!) that the author, closely followed by the cover will win.


So, hopefully there is hope for all us new authors.

Yipeeee I've finished my latest novel.

Honestly, it's taken less than a year to write but over a year to edit the blooming thing! I've named it A Proper Charlie. It's a chicklit about a woman who generates a bubbly image, and in the past was happy to live up to it. She’d been brought up in a children’s home and subsequently longs for a family; someone to belong to and for someone to belong to her. She wants to be loved basically. Trouble is her current boyfriend is a complete tosspot, and her job becomes unstable when another firm take it over. Things seem to all be going wrong.

Her new boss is heartbreakingly good looking Ben Middleton whose sister has gone missing. He hires a private investigator who finds some of her possessions with prostitute Sally Readman, and Ben is worried that his sister is in trouble, especially as a serial killer seems to be targeting prostitutes!

Charlie thinks she can impress her new boss by researching the red-light area for the story; only she thinks she'd get better results if she pretends to be a prostitute.

Of course Ben and Charlie meet. Charlie thinks Ben is the murderer, and Ben thinks Charlie is a prostitute with hilarious results. 

A Proper Charlie is outrageously funny, and follows Charlie and Ben on a journey to discover true love.

It was fun to write, and I think I've found my "niche" in my writing career. Comedy is something I want to excel in. I hope A Proper Charlie finds a publisher soon, because MISS ANTHROPE ONE NIGHT STAND OR TWO is coming up to its editing stage (which will probably take a year to perfect) and that was easier to write than Charlie.

You can see the first two chapter on youwriteon.com site but download isn't all that brilliant though, and the book WILL have indents etc!

Self-Publishing Snobbery

There's a lot of snobbery in the air when someone mentions self-publishing. A lot of pursed lips and tut-tutting. It's the last resort of a poor writer having been rejected by countless agents and publishers, isn't it?

Many think so, sadly.

I've read a few SP books and loads of "ordinary" books and have found errors in both. Funny, they are called spelling errors in SP books, but printing errors in books with a publishing house behind them.

The Pros and Cons of self-publishing can be found in the links highlighted. But, at all costs, make sure your book is the best it can be if you follow the SP route (by any route, really). Pay for a detailed edit/proof-read. Pay an artist for a good cover: these don't have to be expensive. Shop around.

Thanks to Lulu, youwriteon.com etc self-publishing (POD - print on demand) isn't very expensive anymore, so don't get suckered into paying more than you can afford.

Vanity publishing is NOT to be confused with self-publishing. These are companies out to get as much money from you as they can. You'll end up with a garage full of books and an empty bank account, so be aware.

But be prepared to sell yourself; pimping on Twitter, Facebook etc. You'll make a lot of friends from all over the world, as I have found, but you'll also encounter a lot of snobbery.

Have you self-published? Thinking about it? I'd love to hear from you.

I want to talk about books...

Read any good books lately? How do you read? Are you a speed reader? Skimming the pages, eager to get to the end? Or does it take you a long time to read a book?

I'm a lazy reader. I don't read properly. I skim words I don't understand or pronounce. Mr D'Aubigne becomes simply Mr D. As a writer this is bad. I could be missing fresh new words.

I challenge you to pick up a book and really read it. Don't skim, read every word and use a dictionary for every word you don't understand. Sound out the words you can't pronounce.

Is the book in the first person or the third? The first person is when a book it written as if it is about the author himself - I went to the shops. The third person - she went to the shops.

I makes it more personal and NOW. But the author can only know about other characters in the book if the "I" person knows about them. Using she or "Jon", for instance, and the author has more scope to write about other characters.

Look how the author deals with VP (view point) or description. How does he or she fit in the boring back-story about Andy losing contact with his mum thus finding female relationships hard? How does the author make the characters so alive?

Study your chosen book. Analyse it. See how the author doesn't bombard you with description or blocks of black ink.

Read, read, read. Then study, study, study.

MANUSCRIPT LAYOUT

I'd never leave the house without lippy, my hair uncombed or my clothes unironed. So why would I post a manuscript off without checking if I've laid it out correctly?

Over the past month I've been busily editing clients' novels and I've noticed that most haven't laid out the ms correctly - not because they didn't care but just because they hadn't researched this area probably.

I've had single-spaced novels, justified novels and ones with a really beautiful, but unacceptable, font!

Presentation is everything when it comes to sending out your precious novel to prospective publishers or agents. Why spend ages writing the darn thing, if you can't spend a little more time researching how to represent it?

First and foremost you need a title page: your name, contact address, phone number and email address. Add your website/blog too if it showcases your work, otherwise don't bother. Then the name of your book and its word count. Nothing elaborate; no fancy font like Webdings or humongous sized words. Times New Roman point 12 is preferred by every publisher/agent I've ever been in contact, so stick with that.

I put my name, address and contact number in the top right hand corner. Then I centre the title of my book, and underneath my author name, and under that the word count. You don't have to do exactly the same, just make sure it looks neat and tidy and above all PROFESSIONAL.

Your ms should be double spaced, with generous margins all round (this is in case it does get accepted, and the publisher needs to make notes on it), at least 1 to 1.5 inches.

Use good quality CLEAN white paper. It doesn't have to be expensive (Tesco Value is fine). If the ink cartridge needs replacing do it now (you get A £1 back on spent cartridges at Staples), and only use ONE side of the paper. Pages should be numbered from one through to the end. And don't forget to include your name or title (or both) in the header or footer.

Justifying (as this is) looks pretty, but DON'T DO IT! The publisher won't thank you for it, I assure you.

Don't include acknowledgments, that comes later once you've been accepted.

Include a SAE when sending, and use a new, or reasonably new jiffy bag, and make you are sending your ms to someone who deals with that genre. It's such a waste of postage if you send a sci-fi to someone who only deals with crime.

Inside the jiffy bag you should have a short synopsis (no more than two pages), a covering letter and the first three or four chapters of your novel (check submission guidelines). That's it. Do not bind them together. If you feel the need an ordinary elastic band will do.

To clarify:

1. Title page - contact details, name of novel and word count.

2. Type ONE side of page only.

3. Number pages from one through to the end.

4. DO NOT justify.

5. No acknowledgements.

6. Name/title in header.

7. New Times Roman point 12 ONLY.

8. Do not bind your MS together.

9. Clean jiffy bag, short sharp synopsis and cover letter.

10. STAMPED ADDRESS ENVELOPE.

WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T BE FLUFFY

At school you were told to use plenty of adjectives and adverbs in your story writing. Mrs Jenkins probably littered your English book with red pen, didn't she?


I bet you had a piece of chalk (or marker pen if you're younger than 30) thrown at you, with her yelling, "Use more descriptive words!"


Not only that but I bet old Mrs Jenkins used to demand you not start a sentence with a conjunction or worse, mops brow, finishes a sentence with one!


Can you see what's wrong with the piece of writing below? Underneath, I've highlighted where I think words could be deleted without the whole scene changing.


It was morning and Mary woke up and stretched leisurely. The bright yellow sun shone fiercely through the gap in her blue curtains, and spilled over her pink duvet. Yawning, she sleepily sat up and pushed her long, brown hair out of her eyes. She pushed off her cover and swung her shapely legs out of bed and crossed towards the bathroom. The freezing shower was cold against her warm skin. But Mary welcomed it.



It was morning and Mary woke up and stretched leisurely. The bright yellow sun shone fiercely through the gap in her blue curtains, and spilled over her pink duvet. Yawning, she sleepily sat up and pushed her long, brown hair out of her eyes. She pushed off her cover and swung her shapely legs out of bed and crossed towards the bathroom. The freezing shower was cold against her warm skin. But Mary welcomed it.


Overall it's a boring start to a story, but the adjectives and adverbs are way too much. Take them out and it's tighter, but still makes sense.

The Blurb of EDEN

A tale of romance and survival as three people travel from 2236 to the beginning of time.

Jennifer Daykin joins the three-man crew to explore the newly discover planet, Eden.

All was going well until Jenny found herself deserted...

She listened for an answering shout - there was nothing. In the distance, the space shuttle rose up from the ground. Jenny was transfixed with horror as it disappeared into the blue sky of Eden.

'No... Don't' leave me here!'

Only the pounding of her heart answered her.

...but not alone.

The instant she hit the floor she curled into the foetal position. Finally, the bare feet walked away. A native American warrior, had been her first thought, but it was his eyes that had alerted her he wasn't an Indian or even human. They were completely black, dry orbs in a battered face.

Ordinary people with ordinary emotions, fears and insecurities. Only this isn't Earth, and he isn't human.

A modern day Adman and Eve.

10 Publishing Myths Exposed

I liked this. Sort of brings being a writer into perspective.
10 Publishing Myths Exposed