OMG! Women write zombie books! @ApacoTaco

Tis the turn of Stevie Kopas 

with her incredibly Boring Author Interview Revisited

What’s so great about your crap book? (Don't want the boring details, a couple of lines is suffice!)
The Breadwinner and Haven are great because I wrote them. I put a lot of time and effort into creating a horrific world for people to get killed in and I’m excited about it. You’ve got a good solid mix of character flow, post apocalyptic adventure and zombie madness. What’s not to love?

The Breadwinner (American) 

The Breadwinner (UK)

Haven (American)

Haven (UK)

If you didn’t have your book professionally edited: What made you think you’re so perfect that you didn’t need to pay a professional?
I didn’t have the money to pay anybody and at the time I didn’t know anybody who I trusted with editing my books.
I know a brilliant chap called John Hudspith (gotta get the plugs where you can!)

Yawn, so basically you're the same as all the rest of the authors on Amazon and you’re the Next Best Thing. I don’t think so. Come on, tell me why should I spend time reading YOUR book over more well-received authors?
I’m a female author in a male dominated genre. I’m also a younger author still in her twenties in a genre dominated by older, more seasoned authors. But I’ve got what it takes to run with the big boys and I never have been, never will be afraid to put my name out there, get my hands dirty and do the damn thing. So if you don’t want to read an awesome horror/zombie book written by a lady like me then you must be too boring.

What qualifications do you have for writing in your genre?
I have absolutely no qualifications for writing in my genre…unless you count my years of secret professional zombie hunting. Then yeah, I don’t see how anybody else could be more qualified than me.  

Many authors use their qualifications to show off their so-called talents i.e. crime writers are often coppers (police, for the non-Brits present) and the book becomes boringly technical. How have you managed to keep your knowledge low key? Or haven’t you bothered?
I’m not usually supposed to tell people about my years spent in the underground zombie market, but because of my experience with discreet killing, black market trade and sales, I have the upper hand on a lot of people who don’t realize how at any moment, if it weren’t for people like me, things could get out of control and we’d have a zombie apocalypse on our hands.
I'm feeling so much better with you on the streets to protect me, but when you hunt zombies can you keep the noise down? All that wailing (no sure if that's from you or the zombies) is driving me insane!

What part of the world do you come from?
I live in Florida, the very tip of the southeastern United States.

What do you think of your government?
My government told me to tell you that I love them.
Not on your zombie hunting list then?

If you were me (you know, perfect) and knew nothing about a person and you were told to interview them, what’s the one question you would ask? (answer it).
So I guess I’m asking myself what my favorite video game is. Self, what’s your favorite video game? That’s a tough one self, I’d have to call it a toss-up between Fallout and Bioshock.

Do you have any bad habits, or stupid rituals you HAVE to do in order to write?
It always ends up with me either tweaking out from too much coffee or getting shitty from drinking too much wine.
You get shitty from drinking wine? I end up conducting crap interviews!

Authors are usually labelled as ‘dreamers’ and ‘loners’. Have you been labelled as such?
If I have, nobody’s told me to my face. I don’t discriminate and think everyone has asshole tendencies, so if I had to choose between being around people all the time or being by myself, I’d choose hanging with me, me, me. But I do love having an active social life, even if it means I have to tell people to fuck off from time to time.

And what implications do you think that has on a writer?
I think writers need to stop labelling themselves. What’s the point? You want people to think you’re “weird” or “different” because you sit in a basement and drink by yourself while you write you think is your magnum opus? A lot of writers take themselves way too seriously and in turn, disrespect other writers by projecting their pompous vibes onto others. I don’t have time for that, what you see is what you get with me and as a writer, that just means I’m a writer, I don’t have a label or a name for it.
You said it, sister! I've no time for 'up their arses' authors. Why does 'being an author' make some so bloody arrogant? Ugh! OK, best get off this subject before I go into a full-blown rant.

Describe your perfect death (in case I have to kill you)?
Please make sure I’m sleeping, preferably after drinking a good bottle of wine.

Give me the first, middle and end line in your book.
First, middle, and end lines of The Breadwinner, Book 1 in The Breadwinner Trilogy:

1. Franklin Woods was the most upscale community a person could find in Columbia Beach, Florida.
2. Veronica’s heart was caught in her throat and her thoughts raced.
3. She felt his eyes on her but never took hers off the burning building.

First, middle, and end line of Haven, book 2 in The Breadwinner Trilogy:

1. The gentle rocking of the boat gave Samson little comfort. 
2. “Fuck.” She whispered under her breath. 
3. She closed her eyes and gave no further thought to the waking world.

Thank you, Stevie, good luck with your zombie hunting.

Self-Editing 101: 4 Questions to Ask Yourself When You Have That Nagging Feeling "Something is Wrong" with Your WIP

Why Your Critique Group Can't Help With Your Novel's Biggest Problem

by  

Anne R. Allen

I was contacted recently by a newbie writer who said he'd polished every scene in his WIP many times—and his critique group said it was great and ready to go—but he still had the feeling something was wrong.

I certainly could relate. I spent nearly a decade polishing scenes in my first novel—which I later realized was unpublishable.

Why?

Because what I'd written wasn't a novel. It was a series of episodes. Unfortunately, a lot of us tend to do this when we're starting out.

This is especially likely if you edit with the help of a critique group, where we present our work in short bits. A group is great for polishing your scenes, but not your novel's structure.

And those of us who grew up in the early television era—before the days of full-season story arcs—may be even more susceptible to the problem.

So I told my newbie friend it helps to ask yourself a few questions if your WIP doesn't seem "quite right". 

1) Does the plot build from one inciting incident to an inevitable climax? 

Your hero can't just slay a new dragon in each chapter. He needs to live in constant danger from the Big Momma Dragon whose loot he stole in order to save the princess who is being held captive in the far-away tower of doom.

2) Can any scene be removed without affecting that climax?

If your hero stops on the way for a great comic relief scene in a tavern with a bunch of drunken Orcs, he can't just observe how funny they are. He needs to be in danger from the dragon perched on the roof, while he's trying to steal back the dragon-loot the Orcs stole in the last chapter.

Yeah, I know that's your critique group's favorite chapter, but if it's not contributing to the plot, it's got to go.

3) Do you have an antagonist? 

It's amazing how many first novelists leave this bit out. Those serially-slain dragons won't cut it. You've got to have that one Big Momma Dragon who thwarts our hero for the whole book. The "Big Momma" doesn't have to be a person or a monster. It can be a political system, an addiction, or even a weather pattern—as in "the Perfect Storm." What's important is that it keeps up the antagonism for the whole book.

You need a Big Momma Dragon who won't let up and can't be slain by ordinary means. And gets meaner and more dangerous as her little dragons get vanquished.

Some of you may say, "oh, but my main character is the antagonist: he's his own worst enemy". That means you have a literary novel, so make sure the prose is Pulitzer Prize-worthy gorgeous.

4) Do you have one over-arching plot that drives the story forward? 

Some new novelists will discover what they've written is more like an outline for a book series than a single novel. If you find that the problem presented in chapter one gets solved by chapter 10, and then a new problem is dealt with in the next ten chapters, maybe you've got the bones of a series, and what you need is to flesh out chapters 1-10 with more character development or maybe a subplot, and voilà!  You've got the first book in a series. Congratulations!

Obviously, it helps if you start the novel with some of the above things in mind before you begin, but even if you don't, you can often see a structure problem if you step away from the manuscript and re-examine it later with fresh eyeballs. 

Here's what I advised my friend.