Turning it up to 11. When a scene needs as much as you can give it. #parodies #competition .@HeideGoody .@IainMGrant #wip #writingworld #writertips .@rararesources

Scene Writing

By

Heide Goody and Iain M Grant

On a scale of one to ten, how extreme do you want your scene to be?
If it’s comedy or horror then you should consider dialling it up to eleven.
So, what exactly do we mean by that? Let’s imagine a comedy scene where we want the comedy to come from our main character suffering social embarrassment when they’re on a first date.
What might we think of doing to our character?
– they lose all of their money somehow and cannot pay for anything.
– they dye their hair for the occasion and it goes wrong, so they CANNOT remove their hat.

Either could work. What would we score them: maybe eight out of ten?

How might we turn them up to eleven?
– they lose all of their money somehow and cannot pay for anything — they work out a deal with the restaurant where they will do some waiting in lieu of payment. The downside is that the restaurant wants them to do it NOW as there is a rush on, so our hero must keep disappearing from the date to go and secretly wait on other tables, all the while attempting to keep things “normal”.
– they dye their hair for the occasion and it goes wrong, so they CANNOT remove their hat. Every possible reason for removing a hat must subsequently be encountered, from minor etiquette reasons to an animal getting inside the hat. It should culminate in someone important demanding the removal of the hat.

This is where it can be very useful to write in a partnership, or find some other way to stretch your ideas. It is a muscle that you can develop yourself, if you routinely make the assumption that your first idea might be pedestrian or cliched. What does your second or third idea look like? Keep going until you have the idea that feels as though you have really maxed out the concept you were aiming for.

What about horror?

If you’re going for any kind of gross-out horror, then the concept is very similar.
Here’s an example from our novel A Heart in the Right Place:

Nick has broken into his neighbour’s house to retrieve something of his, and we wanted him to be incriminated by finding a body. The person could have been poisoned or stabbed, but we wanted something spectacularly horrible, so we came up with the idea of using a power tool. In our version of turning it up to eleven, we decided to use all of the power tools.

“In the middle of the hallway was a Black and Decker workbench. He recognised it because his dad owned one just like it. There were several power tools clamped to the workbench. Nick wasn’t sure what they all were, but knew his dad would not only know what each was called, he’d also know how to operate them and what sort of job they’d be used for. Nick was pretty sure the scenario in front of him was not one recommended by any of the manufacturers. Each of the tools had its gouging, drilling, sawing bits turned upwards, and the mutilated remains of a man’s body lay face down on them. The whirring sound Nick heard from outside was made by several tools which were running. Some of them stuck out from the back and side of the man’s body. There was even a lengthy drill bit, still spinning, poking out through the skull.

“Oz?” asked Nick. He felt like an idiot. He felt sick.

Oz was in no state to confirm or deny his identity. Chunks of his body had splattered the walls. Blood had pooled on the hall rug, seeping through and spreading to the skirting boards. The parts left on the bench juddered with the tools’ movements, as if Oz was having sex with his workbench. The dog was licking at the dead man’s dangling hand. Perversely, Nick thought this was particularly wrong.

“No. No. This isn’t right?” he heard his mouth say. 

~

Introducing…

A Heart in the Right Place

All Nick wants to do is take his dying father for a perfect father-son weekend in the Scottish Highlands. It’s not much to ask, is it? A log cabin, a roaring fire, a bottle of fine whisky and two days to paper over the cracks in their relationship.

Amazon

However, Nick didn’t plan on making the trip with a dead neighbour in the back of his car. Or the neighbour’s dog. He really didn’t plan on being pursued by a psychotic female assassin intent on collecting body parts. And he really, really didn’t plan on encountering a platoon of heavily armed mercenaries, or some very hungry boars, or a werewolf.

A Heart in the Right Place - a horror comedy about setting out with the very best intentions and then messing everything up.

Facebook | Website | Twitter Heide | Twitter Iain | Amazon

About the authors:

Heide Goody is the stupid one in the writing partnership and Iain Grant is the sensible one. Together, they are the authors of over a dozen books.

The ‘Clovenhoof’ series (in which Satan loses his job and has to move to Birmingham) has recently been optioned by a Hollywood production company.

Heide and Iain are both married, but not to each other.

And now for the competition!

Giveaway – Win a gorgeous Moleskine Passion Traveller's Journal (Open Internationally)

The Moleskine Traveller’s Journal is a structured before and after record of every journey you make, from weekends away to life-changing trips and everything in between. 

Note down your travel plans before you leave and list all the things you hope to see and do, then add maps, photos, tickets and keepsakes when you return. 

The Traveller’s Journal is a place to dream, get practical and create a unique and lasting paper archive of your travels that you’ll want to revisit again and again.

·        premium box with themed graphics related to your passion
·        hard cover with themed debossing, rounded corners, elastic closure
·        2 ribbon bookmarks
·        double expandable inner pocket
·        front endpaper with ‘in case of loss’ notice
·        ivory-coloured 70 g/m² acid-free paper
·        tabbed sections to guide your note-taking
·        themed introductory pages
·        400 pages 
·        themed stickers to customize your journal
·        Moleskine S.r.l. creates and sells FSC®-certified products "

*Terms and Conditions –Worldwide entries welcome.  Please enter using the Rafflecopter box below.  The winner will be selected at random via Rafflecopter from all valid entries and will be notified by Twitter and/or email. If no response is received within 7 days then Rachel’s Random Resources reserves the right to select an alternative winner. Open to all entrants aged 18 or over.  Any personal data given as part of the competition entry is used for this purpose only and will not be shared with third parties, with the exception of the winners’ information. This will be passed to the giveaway organiser and used only for fulfilment of the prize, after which time Rachel’s Random Resources will delete the data.  I am not responsible for despatch or delivery of the prize.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

OR if you don’t like html or are on WordPress

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If you’ve read one Walking Dead clone, you’ve read them all and this book is no exception

by
Stephen Kozeniewski

I have only six words to say about the steaming, execrable hunk of titillating, sex-and-violence fueled piece of garbage so unfortunately mistitled THE GHOUL ARCHIPELAGO:

NO ONE SHOULD BUY THIS BOOK

That's your takeaway. Good enough. Walk away now. Oh you want to hear more? How about I make a list of five reasons NOT to buy it.

1. Zombies are SO OVER. There’s nothing original left to be said on the subject. If you’ve read one Walking Dead clone, you’ve read them all. THE GHOUL ARCHIPELAGO doesn’t take readers anywhere new (except a semi-colonial, semi futuristic South Pacific anti-paradise.) It's just the same old urban hellscape of ALL zombie novels. Yawn. Not to mention its characters are just the same old clichés, trotted out for one more retread:
- a sheriff searching for his family (or, in this case, a rakish smuggler captain)
- a one-eyed megalomaniac villain (or, in this case, a twenty-something billionaire inventor)
- a wisecracking pizza delivery boy (or, in this case, a silent red-headed engineer)
- a wise old farmer (or, in this case, a sexy stowaway)
 
And so forth.

2. Any decent, normal person would be shocked and horrified by the salacious, gratuitous pornography and bloodcurdling, grand guignol violence in this so-called “book.” It features (and I’m not making this up):
- Torture
- Sacrilege
- Human sacrifice
- Cannibalism (original recipe)
- Cannibalism (extra crispy)
- Corpse goo in the eyes
- Strongly implied sodomy
- A puppet made out of a dead teenager
- Masturbation
- Masturbation “paraphernalia”
- Zombie sex
- Zombie barb wire sex
- Zombie foodie porn sex
And, perhaps most damning of all:
- Mildly leftist subtexts

3. This book did NOT win the 2013 Amazon Breakout Novel Award. In fact, it made it no further than the Quarter-Finals. Right off the bat, this book was a LOSER. The fact that legendary horror publishing house Severed Press offered a contract within a week of seeing it does little to assuage its status as an ABNA LOSER.

4. It's a lucky thing this book DID make it as far as it did in the ABNA contest, because otherwise it would not have received a Publisher's Weekly review. That reviewer stated (and I quote,) "This abysmal tale of post-zombie apocalypse life in the South Pacific will try the patience of any reader...elements might have been combined into a decent story, but the prose isn’t up to the task. Readers must suffer through nonsensical phrases...Some passages are just straight-up gross...Many characters come to a sticky end, but most readers will have given up well before the conclusion.”

5. What’s the matter? You didn’t heed the warning from PW about how awful this book is? Okay, how about this actual one-star review from Goodreads? The reviewer states (and, again, I quote,) “…” Well, okay, so the only one-star review is blank. But a reader did think lowly enough of the book to join Goodreads (and then never log in again) for the SOLE PURPOSE of panning this novel with zero words, feeling, perhaps, that the rating was sufficiently self-justifying. That’s the sort of contempt this book inspires in healthy, God-fearing people.
So, there you have it folks. Five simple reasons not to click on the following link and hit “insta-buy:”

               Introducing the awful Ghoul Archipelago

After ravenous corpses topple society and consume most of the world’s population, freighter captain Henk Martigan is shocked to receive a distress call. 

Eighty survivors beg him to whisk them away to the relative safety of the South Pacific. Martigan wants to help, but to rescue anyone he must first pass through the nightmare backwater of the Curien island chain.

Amazon.com | Amazon.UK

A power struggle is brewing in the Curiens. On one side, the billionaire inventor of the mind-control collar seeks to squeeze all the profit he can out of the apocalypse. Opposing him is the charismatic leader of a ghoul-worshipping cargo cult. When a lunatic warlord berths an aircraft carrier off the coast and stakes his own claim on the islands, the stage is set for a bloody showdown. 

To save the remnants of humanity (and himself), Captain Martigan must defeat all three of his ruthless new foes and brave the gruesome horrors of...THE GHOUL ARCHIPELAGO. 

Stephen Kozeniewski lives with his wife and two cats in Pennsylvania, the birthplace of the modern zombie. He was born to the soothing strains of "Boogie With Stu" even though The Who are far superior to Zep, for reasons that he doesn't even really want to get into right now. 

During his time as a Field Artillery officer, he served for three years in Oklahoma and one in Iraq, where due to what he assumes was a clerical error, he was awarded the Bronze Star. The depiction of addiction in his fiction is strongly informed by the three years he spent working at a substance abuse clinic, an experience which also ensures that he employs strict moderation when enjoying the occasional highball of Old Crow. 

He is also a classically trained linguist, which sounds much more impressive than saying his bachelor's degree is in German.

                  Amazon | Facebook | Twitter | Goodreads | Blog

How to Get Ideas for Books

by

Lisa Binion

Before I began to write, the complex plots in the books I read would amaze me.  I just could not figure out how the authors of these books came up with such fantastic ideas.  Since beginning to write, I have discovered ways to come up with some terrific ideas.

VBT

Take a look at your own life.  Life has a tendency to throw you into all kinds of situations, and each situation can be made into a story.  Softly and Tenderly came from the death of my mother when I was nine-years-old.  It was a traumatic time of life for me, and it took me a very long time to recover from her death.  I could have turned it into a mystery or a story that made people cry.  I could have written events just as they happened, but I really would not have been satisfied doing that.  I chose to make it creepy.

A few years ago, something happened to me that I’ll never forget.  It is something that I don’t want to live through again.  While I was out jogging, a spider must have fallen on my shoulder or in my hair.  That’s bad enough in itself, but when I discovered this spider on me, it was in my ear.  I didn’t realize at the time it was a spider.  All I felt were its legs as it crawled deep inside my ear.  Many excruciating hours later, I finally managed to coax it out by about drowning it with hydrogen peroxide.  It was one clean spider when it hit the floor.  I couldn’t let that horrifying event be for nothing.  I’m writing a book, Whisper, very lightly based on what happened.  Again, it will be a tale of horror.

If you can’t decide on an event in your life to write about, take a look at things that have happened in the lives of people you know.  Read newspapers and magazines to see what interesting things have happened in the lives of people you don’t know.  Check out current events and what is happening in the world today.

When you go shopping or go to town to pay bills, notice what is going on around you and listen in on other people’s conversations.  Just try not to be too obvious about what you are doing.  Is there someone you see doing something unusual?  Maybe someone is dressed in an unusual way.  Did you see someone walk away from their cart only to have someone else come along and pick up an item out of their cart?  Was that arranged beforehand?  Maybe it was a trade of some kind.

Perhaps your neighbor has a strange habit.  Does she walk outside every morning at exactly the same time and look down the road?  Is she watching for someone?  Why?  And who is she watching for?  I’m sure you can come up with all kinds of interesting scenarios to explain that.

Listen to your muse.  Pick up a sheet of paper and write down a word that interests you, a word that has a lot of meaning for you.  Now start jotting down other words that your main word brings to mind.  Before long, a story should start to form in your mind.  Keep at it long enough, and you should have enough to start writing.

One other way you can come up with ideas is to look at story prompts.  There are hundreds of these floating around on the Internet.  A lot articles on my BellaOnline Fiction Writing site have story prompts included in them.

Story prompts happen all around us each and every day.  All you have to do is notice them and build a story around them.

 Face Book | Silver Tongue Press | Edit 1st

For vampire lovers I bring you... ALERON

"I was born in the year 1791 in Alexandria, Egypt. The story of my becoming is NOW."

Aleron must cope with a timeless existence, seeing those he loves suffer the fate of mortality, while he remains cursed with eternal life. What if your immortal origin as well as others of your kind were hidden from you by the one you loved most; the one who gave you into a life of darkness and a lust for the sweetest nectar? These dilemmas and more face Aleron, but he must first learn to live, to survive, and most of all, to feed.

Seduced by the alluring vampire Mynea, Aleron learns what it truly means to be immortal as he adapts to his new life and new insatiable lust. She is teaching him to give her what her maker never has. She desires a new king and a new coven. Hearts, minds, and vampire souls intertwine as long kept secrets crawl out from the grave, refusing to remain buried beneath earth and lies. A blood kiss between them reveals a darker and even deadlier soul that has learned of Aleron’s blasphemous existence. Vlad is the beginning, the father of them all. Mynea must not let her young prince learn of her ancient king. Can a vampire truly love and trust another of his kind when their very lives depend on skillful deceit? 

Walking a thin line between life and death, Aleron is certain of one thing, if love is, then blood is.

The author Kane A. has followed the genre of fantastical creatures for as long as he could remember. Though a typical child and diligent student, his imagination never ceased to paint a surrealistic vision that could force many to question their own reality. Early on, Kane expressed his creativity by means of drawing, writing short stories ranging from science fiction to horror, as well as through poetry expressing love, hurt, and betrayal.

His fascination with the undead grew when he studied the history of the witch, werewolf, warlock, and sinking his teeth finally into the world of the vampire. Kane began his first of five novels detailing the lives and challenges of being immortal.

He now resides in Atlanta, GA where he spends the majority of his time writing.

Website: http://www.aleron.co/Aleron/Main.html

Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/aleron11

David Fingerman writes SPYDER:

a street-wise antihero of inner city society.

Experience his strange wisdom, and his twisted sense of humor.

Thirty-year-old Spyder doesn't waste time thinking how much lower he can sink. When he finds his girlfriend dead as the result of drugs he supplied, Spyder contemplates his life and decides it’s time to do what he's avoided most of his days—join mainstream society. All he needs to do is kick the drug habit, find a job, a place to live, and earn some money. Easy. He’s done it hundreds of times, but never all at once. As always, Fate steps in and knees him in the groin. All the dregs he's ever known want their say. George won't stop his pestering, Sal needs a huge favor, Coon is hunting for a certain arachnid, and Spyder's dealer doesn't want to lose one of his best customers. As things spiral out of control, Spyder tangles himself in a web so tight that even he might never be able to escape.

Meet the author David Fingerman at:

Website: http://davidfingerman.com/

Blog: http://www.blogger.com/home?pli=1

Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/davfin23

Buy SPYDER at the following outlets:

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

All romance/omni books

SPYDER is published by L and L Dreamspell, a small independent and POD publisher. Fingerman appeared on my blog introducing his collection of chilling shorts called Edging Past Reality, and a novel that was on the verge of being released called Silent Kill.


David Fingerman very kindly wrote a guest post about self-publishing. Something I've been blogging about recently. Check out the post: Here.


Let's speak to David Fingerman!
Hi Louise ~ thank you so much for letting me appear on your blog.


You’re very welcome. Tell us how are Edging Past Reality and Silent Kill doing?
Edging Past Reality is still doing pretty good, especially in downloads. Downloads are way outselling hard copy which tells me that's where the future is. With Silent Kill I'm really not sure - I'll know more when I get my next quarterly statement from the publisher. Going strictly by Amazon rankings, I'm a little disappointed that it's not doing better. I'll keep marketing that at the same time as Sypyder.
 
So, who or what inspired you to write Spyder?
Oh, this is embarrassing. There used to be this persnickety old woman who attended the same writers' group I did. She drove me nuts. When it came time to critique she would interrupt and go on and on about how it wasn't anything compared to her life. No matter what the person wrote, she could somehow twist it into how her life was so much better, worse, etc. It got to the point where we'd run out of time before everyone got a chance to read even though the moderator would explain we were here to critique the writing. It didn't matter ~ to her it was a social gathering.


My goal was to write something so insulting that she'd be speechless and Spyder was born. It was a short story (now chapter one in the book) and it worked. For the first time since I'd started going to the group, she had nothing to say. I thought that was the end of Spyder, but no. One day I was researching guidelines and found a small press in England that was looking for raunchy inner-city stories. I sent it in and the editor loved it. He asked that if I had any more Spyder stories, I should send them. With that encouragement I wrote another and sent it in. I got a letter back saying that he liked that one even better than the first, but unfortunately the magazine was going under. By that point I was having way too much fun writing Spyder stories.

Sow And You Shall Reap - debut novel by B.P Smythe

Sow And You Shall Reap

by

B. P. Smythe

How cruelty, sexual abuse and greed created this monster of a former care home Matron and the haunted hotel that hid her evil secret.

Just released from prison after their care home atrocities; former Matron, Elizabeth Waverly, and her accomplice, Norman Christie, team up and see an opportunity to inherit two million pounds. But first they have to kill the main beneficiary, Elizabeth Carragher, with Elizabeth Waverly taking on her identity.

At the reading of the will they see their plans back fire when a second will is found and a long lost brother, Victor Carragher, turns up and claims it all.

What follows is a series of terrifying events including flashbacks of the main characters, the breakdown of their early family lives and how cruelty, abuse and greed, installed with a liberally wielded trouser belt, can manifest itself later like a cancer on their morals.

All author royalties and profits will be donated to cancer research uk.

 www.cancerresearchuk.org

oxfordoffice@cancer.org.uk
Barry Smyth will be book signing in September. I'll let you know the date and venue soon!