💋 Need a chuckle? Check out this British #romcom - A Proper Charlie. Giggles guaranteed, and only #99c! #chicklit

Charlotte (Charlie) Wallis dreams of being a journalist and being part of a family unit. Life hasn’t been easy for her—born to a junkie mother and brought up in a children’s home—she craves a family life, but her current boyfriend has palpitations at the mention of commitment, and Charlie’s beginning to believe she’s going to be the office gofer forever.

Then she hears of a possible Jack the Ripper style story, which has London in its gruesome grip. Bodies aren’t showing up even though prostitutes are going missing at a rate of one a month, and the police are stumped.

Without telling anyone, Charlie dons her best fishnet stockings and hits the streets pretending to be a prostitute in the aid of securing a story to further her career.

But seeing her new boss, Ben Middleton, kerb crawling was the last thing she expected.

Then Ben lets her into his secret, and she not only becomes part of the ‘Jack the Ripper’ story, she finds herself the starring role!

Romcom at its craziest, funniest and British-iest.

Told is varying points of view between the protagonist, Charlie, and her love interest/could-be kidnapper/boss/geek/misunderstood, Ben. He's in the wrong place at the wrong time ALL the time. And they say Charlie's a klutz.

A Proper Charlie

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Excerpt:

It was when she plumped up the cushions for the fourth time that she decided she would go out and do some more research on the prostitutes.

She grinned, brightening as a plan began to formulate in her mind. ‘I’ll approach it differently this time,’ she said aloud, feeling ingenious. ‘And I’ll be a hooker for the evening. I’ll get information undercover!’

She rubbed her hands together, warming to her plan and picturing Melvin’s face when a publishing house took on her book and elevated her up the best-selling list. She would be sending Fanny to the canteen for her lunch and not vice versa; she imagined sending him for lattes and Sushi as Mr Middleton looked on in admiration.

‘Obviously, I won’t be sleeping with the clients, unless Orlando Bloom or Will Smith pulls up,’ she continued, ‘but that’s not very likely. Hell, I’d settle for anyone at this rate! Hmmm, what to wear…’ and she danced off towards her bedroom and pulled out a pair of stockings and a red garter from her drawer while humming to herself. In her enthusiasm, the dangers she might encounter were completely submerged.

Usually, makeup was just a slick of lipstick and sometimes mascara. Therefore, the hunt was on for her makeup bag, which contained cosmetics not worn since her schooldays, unless you included the hideous occasion where she embarrassed herself in front of Mr Middleton at the fancy dress party. She found it after turning her bedroom and bathroom upside down, and emptied the contents in the bathroom sink.

She picked up a red lipstick and pulled off the gold lid. Before the sensible side of her talked her out of her mad plan, she applied the lipstick to her mouth. Smacking her lips together, she looked at herself critically in the mirror. It was amazing how a little makeup changed your face.

She wiped it off and set about making up her face properly using foundation, lip liner and black kohl to line her eyes. She viewed herself in the mirror again: sparkly purple eyeshadow, pillar-box red lips and cheeks. Her makeup would match her red mini skirt and garter that she’d planned to wear.

She straightened her hair and added the blonde hair extensions she had used at the disastrous party, only this time she used all she had instead of just a few. When she’d finished, she looked like a blonde bombshell from a 1980s budget movie.

‘Goodbye Wallis,’ she told her reflection. ‘Hello Charlotte.’

Only 99p!

Romance, friendship, comedy, British... what more could you want?

 A Proper Charlie

a true British comedy!

‘You weren’t in love with Andy, babe. You were in love with love.’

‘Don’t get all psycho-thingy on me,’ she said. ‘He was my soul mate. I loved him.’ Glass in hand, she pointed at Melvin, tipping sticky Malibu over his arm. ‘You know what a soul mate is?’

‘Enlighten me.’

She downed her drink, and reached for the bottle again. ‘It’s when you can tell what the other is thinking without talking. It’s when sex is out of this world!’ She frowned. ‘It wasn’t quite like that with Andy, but we were heading in the right direction.’

‘Sure you were.’

‘I’m such a bitch,’ she said, wailing. ‘Why’d I treat him so badly?’

‘I guess you’re a nasty person.’

She nodded in agreement. ‘I’m a cow.’

Melvin went to sip his Malibu, hesitated, then put the glass down on the coffee table.

‘You’re evil, Charlie. I mean,’ he held up a hand and began counting off his fingers, ‘you give him free board and lodgings as and when he wants it. You complain when he messes up your home, you’re suspicious of his motives because he talks of deals and stuff, but then has nothing to show for it. And, lastly, you accuse him of seeing another woman, who, Andy Pandy insists, is the wife of his very single pal Dave. As I said, utterly evil. I’m surprised he’s put up with you for this long.’

Charlie popped another piece of chocolate into her mouth. ‘Do you think I should’ve been nicer to him?’

Melvin nodded. ‘I do. At least offered him one of your kidneys, or something.’

She mulled it over as she poured herself another glass of Malibu. She tossed it down her throat. ‘I’ve been such a bitch.’

‘Yeah,’ Melvin agreed. He stood up. ‘I’m going to make myself a cup of tea.’ He screwed the lid back on the Malibu. ‘And one for you, too. I don’t think drinking this neat is a good idea.’

‘It’s a very good idea,’ Charlie said, making a swipe for the bottle.

 

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 She's losing her job.
She's losing her boyfriend.
She can only afford to eat spaghetti hoops on toast.
She's called Charlie... or Charlotte, or ginger, ginge, Duracell,
carrot.
Yet with all these odds against her, she pushes forward to
take the lead story on her paper at London Core.
Shame no one knows. Shame she's the office general assistant and not a real journalist.
Shame it's on missing prostitutes and Charlie thinks pretending to be a 'tart
with a heart' will get her that story.
She doesn't just get a story.
She becomes the starring role.

How romance has evolved over the years! Does the blushing heroine still exist?

by

Deatri King-Bey

I started in the publishing industry over a decade ago as a developmental editor, but long before that I was an avid reader, and now I’m also an author. I’ve watched the evolution of romance from three different perspectives. Yes, thirty years ago I was one of those teens who snuck into her mother’s Harlequin stash. Even back then I wondered why she hid them. Yes, they contained sex, but the sex was between two loving adults and understated.

Traditional romance isn’t as “traditional” as it used to be. Instead of our heroines being virgins, they moved to being “virginal”, to enjoying sex and not being ashamed of it. Now don’t get me wrong, our heroines still have an innocent quality and aren’t sleeping around, but yet, our heroines have gone through a sexual revolution of sorts. I must say that I love the range of sexuality in romances. Now you can read anything from sweet romance (no sex shown) to erotic and still get your happily ever after. Nothing shocking there. The shocking part comes a bit later. I figured I’d do the easy stuff first.

Back in the day, many romance heroines “needed” men. Their lives revolved around finding Mr. Right and being taken care of.  They “needed” the hero to come in and save the day. Today’s heroines have more options. The hero doesn’t complete her, but instead compliments her. He’s her Yin to her Yang. Another change I’ve seen seeping into books is the "beautiful" heroine. We now have plus sized heroines, and heroines with disabilities! All beautiful, but not in the customary sense, it's brilliant! Granted, it’s difficult to find these books on the traditional publishing side, and I believe self-publishing will push traditional publishers to expand the accepted body types and abilities of our heroines.

The alpha male still dominates in romance, although times are a little harder for him. Now he must deal with these strong willed women who don’t need him. The women are with him because they want to be, not because they “need” him, so I think he knows he has it better now than before. He can’t be cruel like before, he can’t be too domineering or make decisions without discussing it with his heroine. He can cry though; show his softer side and STILL be an alpha man. He’s not as much as changed alongside our heroine, but evolved.  

Let’s look at plots. I must admit that I’m shocked at how much plot lines have not changed over the thirty years that I’ve been reading romance—at least not as much on the traditional publishing side of things. I’m still a sucker for secret babies, secret crushes on friends/enemies that blossom and the secret identity (ie: DEA agent under cover) romances, but I would like to see more plot lines where the hero and/or heroine have “flaws” that are considered unforgiveable. For example, how about a heroine who used to be a hooker? Believe it or not, it’s been done. Anyone remember Lori Foster’s title When Bruce Met Cyn? Great book! Every so often, traditional publishers allow certain authors to break the “rules” of what is an “unforgivable flaw.”  It’s difficult to find these titles by traditional publishers, and I think this is another area where self-publishing will push the industry to be more acceptable of the “unacceptable”.

When reviews count for nothing.

An article by Cindy McDonald

Confession: 

When Louise emailed me the topic of discussion for this blog as “sock puppets” I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about! 

Sock puppets? Sock puppets? 

Did she mean the puppets that my kindergarten teacher used to make out of her husband’s old worn-out tube socks to help her tell the class a nap-time story? I was most fond of Shari Lewis’ little sock, Lamb Chop—she was an adorable sock puppet—her little curly ears and long lashes and cutesy little lamb voice. Hmmm…somehow I was having a difficult time believing that the sock puppets from my childhood were what Ms. Wise was referring to…and with a little digging, a little Googling, I soon discovered that I was right. Nope, Louise was not interested in a blog about Lamb Chop—maybe some other time.

Please note: This lamb is a stand-in.
The original Lamb Chop isn't available for promo shots. 

Hokay, call me naive or uninformed but I didn’t realize that authors creating anonymous profiles on such sites as amazon and goodreads to write glowing reviews about their book was a problem. However as I read the forums, it soon became apparent that I was uninformed…naïve. 

But is it really a problem? 

Do “Sock Puppets” Have No Shame?

An article by MK McClintock

Apparently I’m further behind in the lingo that I had originally thought, because when someone first mentioned sock puppets to me, I immediately thought about the silly diversion that adults use for kids when nothing else seems to work. I couldn’t have been further off from what the person had meant, so I did a little checking around online for the term (as used in the writing world) and came across these definitions in the online Urban Dictionary:

1. Sock Puppet

An account made on an internet message board, by a person who already has an account, for the purpose of posting more-or-less anonymously.

2. Sock Puppet

1: A fake personality, usually a 'friend' or 'sister,' created by a drama queen/king for the sake of defending him/herself against others in an online forum.

These definitions may lack eloquence, but both are straight to the point. The influx of books on the market, especially those by self-published authors have made it difficult for readers to weed out the genuinely good books from the bad. Readers go online to read reviews in order to help determine if they’d like to read a book. They’re thrilled to see a book with only five-star ratings and with a click, they buy it. They wait anxiously as it loads onto their eReader or arrives in the mail. Two chapters in and they’re wondering if they purchased the right book. One third of the way through and they’re thinking they wasted their money. Halfway through they’re angry because they feel deceived . . . and if they make it further than that, they’re probably going to go online and write a scathing one-star review telling the world how much they disliked the book and how they can’t believe they wasted good money and how everyone who gave it five-stars was lying. Sound familiar?

This is a concern which has arisen often lately and from what I’ve observed, it ends up leading to disgraceful communications between authors and readers. It brings out the worst in the online community and etiquette is thrown out the window in order for the respective parties to defend their ratings.

So, what should be a place for readers to read genuinely honest and fair reviews, has become a place where deceit makes book-buying a walking-on-eggshells experience. Readers don’t want to get stuck with a rotten book – so who are they supposed to trust?

Luckily, not everyone is a so-called “sock puppet” and honest reviews can be found, but unfortunately readers may have to dig a little. I have my own little rule of thumb for reviews. First, I bypass the five star reviews and head straight for the one-stars and work my way up. Unfortunately this can take a little time and mine is precious, so I only do this for books that truly interest me. If a book has only four and five star reviews, I read these carefully to determine if the reviews are written by legitimate readers (one can often tell my looking at that reviewers other reviews). Another good rule of thumb – I never purchase a book where the author has gone online to comment on every mediocre or poor review they receive.

So what  do you do when you’ve been duped by a “sock puppet”? Should you take that as your cue to write one of those one-star reviews defaming the book in every possible way? I believe there’s a fair and civilized way to go about it. If a reader is determined to make a point, why not try first to contact the author directly and mention that you feel these “sock puppet” reviews have been posted and before you write your own review revealing it, would the author like the chance to remove those reviews?

This is where you should screech to a halt! What if the reviews are genuine? How can a reader be certain? Ouch – this one is tough. Gut instinct? Super brain powers? It’s a tough call, but many readers make it every day.

So readers, there’s a civilized way to leave a comment, good or bad, and it doesn’t hurt to be professional online, no matter how personal the comment is.

Authors – This doesn’t mean you should never comment on a review, but other than to say “Thank You” to a kind blogger who read and posted a genuine review for you, it’s best to leave the comments to the readers. If you want to review your own book, let the readers know what you’re doing and identify yourself. It will go a long way with trust.

“Sock Puppets” – You’re out there, but readers are catching on and they’re watching for you. Your next book could be the one they don’t buy.


It’s not worth it.

McClintock is an entrepreneur, baker, photographer, tour host, reviewer, and multi-genre author. She was born on the west coast, but after less than eight years she left with her family to the Rocky Mountains. After more adventures around the country, business college, and culinary school, McClintock found a place to call home in Montana.

​

Over the years McClintock traveled the country and visited magnificent Scotland. She dreams of a time when life was simpler, the land rougher, and the journey more rewarding. With her heart deeply rooted in the past and her mind always on adventure, McClintock will always call Montana home.

Links

Website: http://www.mkmcclintock.com

Gallagher’s Pride Book Trailer: http://youtu.be/4VE6VFSf1LA

Amazon Print: http://www.amazon.com/Gallaghers-Pride-First-Gallagher-Novels/dp/1456346814/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1339510597&sr=8-2

Amazon Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Gallaghers-Pride-Gallagher-Series-ebook/dp/B006ZOSVFG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1339510597&sr=8-1