by
Emlyn Chand
Do you like to play video games? Have you ever played Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, Soul Calibur, or Super Smash Brothers?
If you’re a writer who has attempted to land a literary agent, then you have to some degree. Securing a literary agent is one part fight and one part game, and there are many rounds to this battle.
I’ve made it through the first match alive but slightly worse for the wear. Rather than explain my literary agent submission experience in lengthy, dramatic prose, I thought it would be more fun to turn it into a video game script.
Welcome to Book Basher Super Fiiiight Time—Hiyaah!
Deep in the snowy wasteland of the mid-January Midwest, our hero boldly prepares for battle. With nothing more than a six-time-revised manuscript and a dash of hope, she sets forth on her journey toward publication.
Meanwhile in the magical urban forest called
“New York,” an army of battle-weary agents also prepare for their day’s
journeys. They have emerged victorious many times before and think nothing of
today’s show-down.
Within the space of the cyber realm, at last
they shall meet.
Our hero goes forth, query in hand, with
minimal armor to protect her feelings. Although she has honed her skills for
more than one year, nothing could have prepared her for this first battle.
Emlyn vs. The Literary
Agents—Battle 1—Fiiiight!
OUR HERO: “I’m calling on my strength.” She
circles her arms and performs a sun salute.
AGENT #1: "He, he. I will make you
cry!" She looks at our hero from over her shoulder, sticks out her tongue,
and winks.
OUR HERO inches forward, hesitantly, toward
her opponent
AGENT #1 performs a swift maneuver, pulling a
red rejection stamp out of her pocket and bringing it to rest on our hero’s manuscript—KO—“You die too easily, hmmpf!”
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| Out in MAY! |
