“The First Sexual Harassment Complaint on Shptiludrp”
Scene
Prologue: Lacy Dawn, the eleven year old
protagonist, is a most unlikely savior of the universe. An android named DotCom
(a recurring pun in the story) was sent to Earth to recruit and train Lacy to
fulfill her destiny. She changed the android’s name to “Bucky” to cover-up its
true nature, assembled and prepared a team to diagnose and address the threat,
and took her team to planet Shptiludrp (Shop Until You Drop), a giant shopping
mall and the center of economic governance for the universe. The following
scene is the team’s first meeting with the Manager of the Mall and takes place
in the only high rise office building on the planet, now easily identifiable as
Trump Tower.
~
…Lacy Dawn scanned across a desk larger
than her bedroom and lowered her gaze until just above the desk top. In an
oversized swivel chair behind the desk sat a humanoid…. Mr. Prump stood up…. He
extended a small hand with six fingers, each of which had at least two overly
large golden rings.
“It's very nice to meet you, Lacy Dawn,”
he ignored the others….
“He looks almost just like that short guy
on those taxi cab reruns,” Dwayne whispered. “What’s that actor’s name?”
(Dwayne, Lacy’s father, is an Iraq War damaged Vet who suffered from PTSD,
night terrors and anger outbursts until cured by the android since he had
refused treatment by the VA hospital. Dwayne, an expert used car salesman,
plays an important role on the team and worked very hard to save the universe
in an effort to achieve Lacy’s forgiveness for his past abusive behaviors.)
“Shhhh,” Lacy Dawn glared.
“I have a complaint to make,” Lacy said to
Mr. Prump.
“Oh?” Mr. Prump sat down, opened a drawer,
and shoved a form across his desk in her direction. “Please call me Mr. Prump.”
Hospitality has been extended to her
entourage.
The form ran out of momentum half-way
across the desk. Lacy Dawn extended and retracted because it stopped well short
of her reach.
That's too far regardless of obligatory
respect.
“I was not aware of any dissatisfaction of
any type, sir,” Bucky reverted to his role as DotCom in the presence of his
long-term authority figure. Lacy Dawn gave him The Look and trumped.
“Your elevator operator just told me that
I have a nice ass,” she said.
Dwayne started for the office exit to get
the offender. Lacy Dawn pushed him toward one of the chairs in front of the
desk. Tom grabbed Dwayne’s arm. (Tom is Lacy’s neighbor. He is a wealthy “back
to the land” marijuana dealer who relocated to The Hollow when he concluded
that city life aggravated his Bipolar Disorder.) Then, Tom and Lacy Dawn had to
restrain Bucky’s attempt to go after the offender.
Lacy and
Jenny stood alone in front of the desk while the males sat. Jenny moved to her
daughter's side. (Jenny is Lacy’s formerly downtrodden mother whose self-esteem
had been enhanced after the android had replaced her rotting teeth with new
ones.) Brownie growled. So did Bucky. (Brownie is the family mutt and the only
member of the team with enough empathy skills to communicate with, at this
point in the story, vile invaders of the universe.)….
Mr. Prump shoved another form in her
direction with the same result. The complaint forms were the only papers on the
desk….
“Tree says that to me all the time,” the
receptionist said from the doorway. “Would anybody like something to drink or a
snack?”
Nobody responded except Mr. Prump. He
extended a cup that had been on his desk, but the gesture was ignored.
"That's different, you…" Tom
started but Lacy Dawn's look cut him short.
“The females of those people got no
figures at all -- straight up and down,” the receptionist said. “I wouldn’t
take it personally, Lacy. All males from that planet become infatuated with any
curve on any body that they think is female. He's a nice person once you get to
know him.”
“Regardless, it was inappropriate for him
to tell me that I have a nice ass.”
“Yeah,” her team said in unison. DotCom
was the loudest except for Brownie’s bark followed by another growl.
“I ought to kick his ass for talking trash
to my little girl,” Dwayne said.
I'm such a juvenile.
Lacy glared at him again.
“Sorry,” Dwayne hung his head.
“Further,” Lacy Dawn continued. “I'm not
about to do business with any planet that permits the sexual harassment of its
visitors or employees to go undisciplined.”
Jenny sat down.
“Yeah,” the receptionist said.
Mr. Prump sank deeper into his seat….
“I’m never going to sit on your lap again
unless I want to,” the receptionist said. “And, as for anything else, you can
just forget it from now on unless you take care of this. Take care of the whole
problem on the whole planet -- equal respect for all people -- within their
financial means, of course.”
“Take a memo to Division Managers with a
copy to All Staff.”
Lacy Dawn stood alone before the desk. He
dictated the memo and she listened.
It's pretty
good. There's procedure for making sexual harassment complaints, investigation,
due process, and penalty.
“That’s all for now. I'll contact you
tomorrow to begin negotiation of terms,” she said.
Mr. Prump asked her
what time but she didn't answer. Lacy Dawn had concluded her first meeting with
the most powerful being in the universe and had beaten him in negotiations.
