Think #romcoms are just for women? Think again! Check out this brillant debut from @LjHurleyWriter .@rararesources #xfactor #chicklit #guestpost

…from the mind of a fictional character

by

Jimmy Rowland

(a character from Liam Hurley's You, Me and Us)

I did something terrible the other night. I watched The X Factor. Maybe terrible is an overstatement. But it was definitely bad. Very bad. Not for the reasons you’d expect though, yes, the singing wasn’t fantastic, but the main reason I hated it was the audience. Half of them were there to see the judges. They cheered the compliments and boo’d the criticism. Like a pantomime. All whilst some poor sod is stood on stage being judged like some sort of freak show.  I feel nothing but empathy for the people who go on that stage to chase their dreams. I applaud it. Well done to them, they’re at least having a go. 

However, some of them are absolutely awful. Really really bad. And the producers throw them on stage, full of dreams to be crushed in front of the entire country. Some of these people are severely deluded, to the point where you wonder how no-one has ever stopped them from doing this, and they are about to get embarrassed in front of a nation. It is gut-wrenching. People are boo’ing, chanting ‘off, off, off’, laughing at the judges’ snarky comments and all I feel is pain for the people up there. They are shit though. 

This isn’t sore grapes, trust me, I am in a band myself. The X Factor has never appealed to us, although it does seem to be one of the many suggestions we get from family and friends. “You should go on! You’d be great!”. It just isn’t our bag. Like I said, fair play to the people for having a go, but it really isn’t for us. Plus we probably wouldn’t get through considering half our act is me telling crap jokes to the audience whilst my two band mates argue about what key to play Faith in. And I’m not 100% sure Simon would like that. 

The only time I’d want an audience to chant ‘off, off, off’ at me is if I joined the cast of Magic Mike. Even then I’d be laughed at but at least I’d understand why! There are no illusions of grandeur when it comes to what’s underneath my many layers of clothing.

Even if you’re good and you get through to the live shows, being on The X Factor isn’t always the step to fame and glory it pretends to be. Look at the many winners of past seasons, half of them are now long forgotten about. Singing in pubs or hosting VIP nights are their local nightclub. Tosh. Utter tosh. The problem is that the vast majority go on the show for all the wrong reasons. When they get asked what their dream is they respond with words such as ‘superstar, famous, celebrity’ they hardly ever say ‘singer, artist, band’. And this is the crux of it. Being on one of these shows is advertised as being a route to fame rather than success. The two do not always go hand-in-hand.

I am not blind to the fact that my band may not end up being a worldwide success. However, if I could do well enough with music to do it full-time that would be the goal. Anything at all beyond that would be extra. If I could earn minimum wage from singing full time that would be amazing. I’d be living the dream.

So, if you’re out there reading this, future contestants, try and think about what your dream really is. Is it to sing? Come down to an open mic. Is it to be famous? Make a fake viral video and become a YouTube star. Trust me your local nightclub will always need someone to drink apple sours and pose for pictures with drunk seventeen-year olds. Or you could get embarrassed in front of millions whilst singing I Believe I Can Fly. It’s up to you.  

Introducing... 

You, Me and Us

“F*** you for breaking my f***ing heart…”

This is the heart-breaking yet hilarious story of Jimmy Rowland and Erin Poppet.

Jimmy Rowland has the perfect life. He works in his favourite bar by day, and by night he lives his dream with his two best friends in his band.

Amazon.UK | Amazon.com

Erin Poppet crashes into Jimmy’s life like a beautiful storm. He falls in love with her as quickly and as deeply as possible. The intensity of their relationship leaves Jimmy with a broken heart, a useless vacuum and a demon inside him. 

Jimmy’s dream life quickly becomes a nightmare when he loses his dream job and destroys his musical career live on stage. 

When he hits rock bottom, he decides he only has one choice, to rebuild his life from scratch. He has to get back the life he had before Erin. 

This is her story. This is his story. This is their story.

Or as Jimmy would say…

“… this is the story of You, Me and Us.”

About Liam Hurley in his own words:

My name is Liam; I am an author from Manchester, UK. I love three things in this world, writing, reading and the viral video of the Irish family trying to catch a bat. (My girlfriend, family, friends and cats may be unhappy with this).

My hobbies include listening to podcasts, watching grown men fight and trying every possible type of ground coffee in the world. My hobbies include listening to podcasts, watching grown men fight and trying every possible type of ground coffee in the world. 

Here are my Top Ten reasons to read my book or spend the night with me… 

1. It won’t cost you much. 

2. It will be over relatively quickly. 
3. I will be very grateful. 
4. You can tell other people about it if you enjoyed it. 
5. If not, don’t bother. 
6. It’s always fun to have something in your hands to flick through. 
7. You can review it online. 
8. It will leave a mark on you. 
9. You won’t want to put it down. 
10. It’ll make you laugh. 

Twitter | Website | Goodreads 

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Giveaway – Win a signed copy of You, Me and Us (Open to UK only)

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Are you an 'organic' artist? Zackery Humphreys explains...

by

Zackery Humphreys

I consider myself a very organic artist.

Many of my ideas come from dreams or inspirations from other artists: Salvidor Dali, Ray Bradbury and Walt Disney are some good examples. When I get an idea, whether it is a character, an ending, or even just a line, I write it down either in my notebook or on my phone for later use. After that, I think about it quite a bit, usually as I'm lying in bed trying to sleep (which doesn't help my sleep schedule!) until I have a rough outline in my head with a few more ideas, which I, in turn, write down in my notes. After that, it's off to writing. 

Author Zackery Humphreys

I prefer this more organic way of creating as it bleeds into my writing. Each sentence inspires the next, and the next, which can sometimes lead to the creation of more ideas as I go along. It's like stream-of-consciousness with punctuation. I prefer this to a solidified outline I may have already thought about ahead of time. It's more exciting to write organically and it's hopefully more fluid for the reader. 

For the entire process, I continue lying in bed thinking, jotting down notes, and writing until the project is finished and I'm dead tired!

Speaking of “finished,” the question I've been asked probably more than any other is, “How long does it take you to finish a book?” Well, it took me seven years to write Epsilon A.R., from the first word to the final product. Enough time to nearly get through all of high school and college.

Stop Watching Jersey Shore!

There’s a New Sheriff in Town—Now Write

by 

Stephen M Holak 

First off, a grateful tip of the hat to Louise for inviting me to post a guest blog here. As a newly-minted Indie author, I appreciate every opportunity to market myself and build an audience. Second: my personality lends itself very well to standing on a soapbox and pushing my views and opinions on that audience. Just ask my friends and family. I’m not shy; everyone is entitled to my opinion.

I headed over to these parts to introduce myself, my works, let you to get to know me, promote my stuff, you know? But then I changed my mind.

I decided to do you all a favor and spank you.

If you’re a struggling writer, a pre-published author, or a recent self-published / Indie author, what I’m about to tell you should strike a chord. A deep one. It should leave a deep red handprint on your buttocks, Lieutenant Dan.

Amazon.UK
Amazon.com

Tell me you haven’t said this to yourself: “I really don’t feel like writing today; what’s the point anyway? I’ll hammer away at something for days / weeks / months / years / decades on my lunch hour / train ride / midnight oil-burning session, polish the crap out of it, throw an agonized-over query letter over it, and submit it to an agent / editor / publishing house / magazine, and six months later I’ll get a polite letter thanking me for my submission, the story had promise, but it wasn’t a good fit for (whatever), blah-blah effing blah.”

Your self-imposed word-count for the day just went from one-thousand down to five-hundred, or five-hundred to two-hundred, or to . . . zero; you cracked open a beer, plopped on the couch, and dialed up last night’s episode of Jersey Shore.

I know you do this. I did it for years. For decades. I didn’t work as hard as I could at my craft, and got absolutely nowhere. What was the point? Deep inside, I thought it was hopeless. I thought I had no control over a writing career, that I was playing a literary lottery. (Oooh. I like that!)

I’m here to tell you, peeps, that those days are over. It’s a Brave New World. Nuclear winter is over—open the door and take a look. See the sun? I’m not yanking your chain. There are absolutely no excuses for the above excuses. None. There’s a new sheriff in town, and his name is Jeff. Jeff Bezos. (I’ll give you a minute to Google him.)

In Ancient Times, the Gatekeepers guarded the, well, Gates. The Big Six publishing houses, (hereafter BS) , stood between you and your customers—the readers. BS decided what was good. They decided who would get the shelf space in bookstores. BS paid authors a tiny royalty and don’t-spend-it-all-in-one-place advances. They kept rights to works even when the print runs were over. BS kept over 50% of the price the reader forked over for your sweat, blood and tears--if you were lucky enough to win the lottery, and your chances are about the same—and be published, you got to keep maybe 15% after you paid your agent and traveled the universe signing and promoting your book on your dime

What they really did, dear colleagues, was decide what they could sell. Not what was good, not what had literary merit or what they thought readers wanted or would enjoy reading, but what BS could sell. What could make BS money. They had absolutely no interest in you, or helping you grow as a writer. You were meat to them. If you weren’t marbled just right, well . . . the metaphor breaks down here, but you get the idea.

And somewhere deep in your brainstem, you knew this. (This is why, by the way, Jersey Shore has such high ratings.)

Amazon, and the explosion of self-publishing options like Kindle Direct (KDP) and Createspace and Smashwords has changed all that. You can publish yourself. With one terrifying click of the mouse, the barriers between you and your potential readers, between anonymity and notice, vanish. Poof.

Repeat after me: There are no more gatekeepers. Readers are free to judge your work on its own merits. If you work hard at learning your craft, if tell a good story, if you edit the hell out of your stuff and edit it some more, if you learn eBook formatting and cover design (or pay someone to do it for you), write a good blurb, and upload the effer to cyberspace and market yourself, people will read your stuff.

If they like it, they’ll buy it. If readers like your product, you’ll not only be a published author, you’ll be an author with sales. (If you care about those sorts of things, that is. I do. That’s partly why I’m here. The other reason is the spanking.) You can write more works and publish them and build an audience and make some money.

So use that train ride, that lunch hour, that rainy Saturday, that restless night. Buy a case of Red Bull and a book on editing (better yet, spring for a good editor; it’s an investment) and a book on eBook publishing and learn Photoshop or marry a girl who owns Photoshop and bang out some great covers (which you by the way, have complete control over), and publish your work. Be a writer. Be an author. No one is holding you back any longer.

No BS stands between you and your potential readers. Stop reading books on writing and blogs on writing (except for this one, and mine, and maybe Joe Konrath; he’s good and I want to be like him), and write, damn it.

Luke Skywalker: Whine, whine.

Yoda: “Do or do not. There is no try.”


Oh, I almost forgot, my novella, “A Fairy for Bin Laden,” about a foot-high pixie named Tinkerbelle who helps the CIA and Army track down Osama Bin Laden, is available on Amazon.com. (http://amzn.com/B0088IBE3I) Please buy it. And my other novella, “O’Reilly’s Sacrifice,” if you like baseball fantasy stories like Field of Dreams. And my epic fantasy novel coming out in December.

I missed a dozen episodes of Jersey Shore writing this, and feel the Universe owes me some compensation.

*If you want to discuss this guest post on Twitter the hashtag is #wwbb