Only 99p (or cents)! A time travel novel that's exquisitely British. Set in a village in #Northamptonshire #1970 #timetravel

Step into a quaint Northamptonshire village with a British time travel novel, now available for an unbeatable 99p (or cents)! 

Don't miss out on the chance to embark on a thrilling adventure through time. 

WIDE AWAKE ASLEEP

Julie grew up in a small village where her mother was known for her numerous flings. Her father, heartbroken, couldn't cope and eventually left the family home. Julie was unable to forgive her mother, and her feelings of anger and disillusionment only intensified when she was placed in foster care. Despite her difficult upbringing, Julie managed to turn her life around. She even forgave her mother enough to find her the best nursing home.

However, her life takes an unexpected turn when she's transported back to 1973 and forced to relive her traumatic childhood. Has she entered the afterlife following her accident, or has she genuinely travelled back in time?

There is a bigger problem.

She's not in her body.

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When fictional characters move from books to the REAL WORLD. @rararesources @janeowenauthor

Rants from the mind of a fictional character

by

Kelly Cunningham

(a character from Jane Owen's The Bitches of Suburbia)

Kelly Cunningham did not like current affairs, did not like watching the news, reading the papers or listening to the radio.  Kelly’s mother had said, on many occasions, that there were two things one should never discuss in polite company:  religion and politics and seeing as the news mainly consisted of events caused by or involving religion or politics, it frightened Kelly a little bit, it made people so very, very angry.  She still watched it though.  Like most people she could remember quite clearly where she was, what she was wearing even, when she’d turned on the news and seen the Diana’s crumpled wreck of a car in the Paris underpass and the national hysteria that had followed it had shaken her to the core.  Kelly’s mother had also been a great believer in the stiff upper lip, one simply didn’t fall apart like that, certainly not at funerals.  The same could be said of 9/11.  Like most Europeans who’d grown up with terrorism, she’d recognised it immediately for what it was and her heart broke for the Americans whom she assumed, probably correctly, would be irrevocably changed by this attack on home soil. 

Since then, rolling news and smart phones had brought a whole new level of anxiety to her life.   Twenty four hour coverage of every dreadful fire or mass shooting or car bomb came with eye witness reports filmed on an iPhone.  Nowadays people actually filmed as they hid from machete wielding maniacs or lone psychopaths with automatic weapons and it made it all so real, so close but it wasn’t even this so much that upset Kelly, it was the slightly shaky footage of people crying outside a burning tower block, people holding each other tight as they sobbed in front of pop up shrines of cellophane wrapped flowers, helium balloons, candles and teddy bears.  It was the individual stories of loss and fear that made the tears roll down her cheek.

Recently, even the politics had started to scare Kelly.  She was sure she would never be able to quite forgive David Cameron for calling that referendum, a referendum that had divided a country in a way not seen since Cromwell, that had brought to the surface hitherto hidden feelings of resentment that Kelly, nice middle class suburban housewife that she was, had had no idea were festering in the nation’s bosom and the hatred felt by some Remainers towards the Leavers had left her feeling sick to her stomach.   A dinner party with some of Martin’s work colleagues had ended disastrously when, fuelled no doubt by French wine, a discussion about Brexit had resulted in a guest and the host almost coming to blows.  She and Martin had made their excuses and left, not even bothering to stay for dessert.

All this paled into insignificance however, when compared to the threat of nuclear war, even more so because it all seemed to be happening on Twitter.  That was something else that made Kelly Cunningham’s head spin:  social media and the speed with which it had become another weapon in a politician’s arsenal.  She wasn’t quite sure had the world had come to point where world leaders could insult each other and threaten to obliterate each other using 160 characters or less but she was fairly sure her mother would not have approved of this impolite conversation.

No, Kelly Cunningham did not like current affairs, not one little bit.

Introducing...

The Bitches of Suburbia

Nothing much ever happened on Horseshoe Lane - why should it? It was, after all, just a normal suburban backwater with the usual cross section of growing families, ageing pensioners, the occasional singleton and a brace of curtain twitchers.

The arrival of celebrity couple, Heavenly and Travis, however, changes all that. This glamorous pair bring about a summer of competitive party throwing and ambitious home improvement projects that will have disastrous and completely unforeseen consequences.  

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 Neighbours who’ve got by for years with just the occasional chat over a garden fence about the unseasonable amount of rain or the state of next door’s garden are slowly united by suspicion as a husband goes missing, a much loved cat turns up dead on a doorstep and Enid from Number Seven is found badly injured at the foot of the cliff.   

Could one person be responsible for all of this? Could that person be the strange and unlikeable Hilary Jones from Number Nine? There was only going to be one way to find out and it was going to involve a lot of whiskey….

In this her wonderful follow up to ‘The Rock Star Known as Horse’, Owen’s riveting new story finds a murky side to the suburbs, a side where petty jealousies and neighbourly rivalries can escalate out of all control with calamitous results, all intricately observed with her usual dark humour firmly to the fore.  

About Jane Owen

Jane's first novel, Camden Girls, was published by Penguin twenty years ago and quickly became an international cult bestseller published in many languages including Japanese, Spanish,German, Hebrew, Italian and Dutch.  She'd already spent many years working in the film business working alongside stars such as Christophe Lambert, Andi McDowell, Daryl Hannah and James Remar before switching to the music business and working for bands such as The Who, Robert Plant, ZZTop and many more.  Eventually, even that got boring and that's when she wrote Camden Girls.  

After publication, life became interrupted by an unfortunate traffic accident and Jane moved out of London to Sussex and slowly returned to writing.  Her novels don't fit into any specific category and, frustrated by endless rejections along the lines of 'You write beautifully but we don't know how to sell this book' she started self publishing.  Rave reviews gave her the confidence to keep going and believe in what she was writing.

She's still in Sussex, sharing her life with her musician partner, three horses and a dog and divides her day between writing and riding.  

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Words from WWBB: Would your character like to voice their thoughts like Kelly Cunningham? Would you dare to let them have their say on current affairs from where they are in the world? Check out HERE for more details, and join us from November through to Christmas where characters are allowed free rein!

Don't let Kelly be alone!

Click here for more details!!!

What’s a girl to do when she discovers her boss is a wanted man?

Become a honey trap, that’s what
Poor Charlie, she really should’ve stayed home

For anyone (as long as they aren’t ginger)

Amazon

Extract from A Proper Charlie (this book is available in all electronic formats) 

‘What the bloody hell have you done, Charlie?’ Mr Fanton stood behind her, his hands, somewhere beneath his large middle, were on his hips. He came forward and slapped down a wad of printouts on a nearby table. ‘I’ve just being ringing up the stationers to see if there’s been some kind of mistake, but apparently not.’ He jabbed at the printouts with a finger. ‘The quantities are all in triple figures! What were you thinking?’

Charlie felt terrible. ‘I’m so sorry Mr Fanton, I think the order must’ve gone through twice, somehow.’ She remembered how Faye had caused her computer to go blank while looking for her pen and Charlie had resubmitted the order.

‘Twice? Look!’ he shrieked picking up the printouts of her order and thrusting them into her hands. ‘That isn’t twice! What am I supposed to do with that lot?’

Charlie looked through the pages. It was her scroll on the bottom of the order. Oh God, she must have submitted it for the third time by mistake! ‘I’m sorry,’ she repeated in a small voice, realising that people in the canteen were taking great delight in witnessing her dressing-down. ‘I’ll sort it, Mr Fanton,’ she added.

‘Sort it?’ He glowered, spittle gathered at the corners of his mouth, and his jowls wobbled as he shook his head. ‘Are you going to pay for it, too? Are you going to work wage-free while you sort out the mess? Well, are you?’

Charlie felt close to tears. She was deeply troubled over her personal involvement over Sally, and felt that any moment now she’d collapse in a heap of convulsing sobs. She restrained herself.

‘For God’s sake girl, you are a hindrance to the company.’

Charlie bit her lip. This is it, you’re going to be fired, she thought.

‘What’s going on?’ said a deep voice.

‘Ah, Ben,’ Mr Fanton turn away from Charlie. ‘Nothing I can’t handle. There’s been a mistake in the stationery order.’ He turned as if to try and shield Ben from the stacks of boxes, not because he wanted to protect Charlie from further wrath, but because he wanted to be the one to dish it out. Ben side-stepped him and looked at the piles of packages and boxes.

Charlie had been looking at her feet, feeling fully chastened. She glanced up at Ben, with her bottom lip clenched between her teeth, and expected to see shock followed by anger on his face. Instead, he pulled his lips inside his mouth as if he were trying to stop himself from laughing.

Mr Fanton held the printouts of Charlie’s stationery order towards him. ‘Charlie can’t seem to understand the difference between single and double figures,’ he declared pompously.

Taking them, Ben glanced up and his gaze met with Charlie’s. He didn’t look at all angry or annoyed, and Charlie felt stupidly grateful. She had to stop herself from throwing her arms around his ankles and kissing his shoes.

‘Hmm, someone’s been a bit over-enthusiastic,’ Ben said, his mouth turning up at the corners as he read through them.

‘As I was saying to Charlie,’ Mr Fanton began, ‘she’s a hindrance to the company. It’s been one mistake after another.’

‘Really?’ Ben asked. ‘What other mistakes has she made?’

‘Well, nothing major like this, but she just causes disruption. She chats when she should be working—’

‘Excellent qualities in a reporter,’ Ben said. ‘It helps to break the ice, and encourages the interviewee to talk.’

‘She isn’t a reporter,’ Mr Fanton pointed out. ‘After this I doubt she’ll ever get a newspaper to hire her again! Charlie, I’ll have your P45 drawn up this afternoon. Don’t worry Ben, I’ll have this mess sorted in no time.’

Ben was taking off his jacket and unbuttoning his cuff buttons on his shirt. He rolled up his sleeves. He winked at Charlie, who stood miserably between both men. ‘I’ll not hear of Charlie being dismissed over a slight error.’

Charlie looked up, open-mouthed.

‘A slight error?’ Mr Fanton gave a small humourless laugh.

‘That’s right,’ Ben said. ‘Arrange a dispatcher would you? Er, you’d better make that several.’

Mr Fanton looked from Charlie and then to Ben. When his shocked gaze fell back on Charlie she controlled herself from sticking out her tongue, and instead permitted a smug smile to tease the corners of her mouth – well, if a girl can’t be smug in situations like this, when can she be?

What kind of driver are you?

by

Louise Wise

I'm a placid type of person. Not easily riled. But inside a car I'm a MONSTER! If someone cuts me up, sits on my tail, hesitates too long, I turn in to Mrs Hulk! I wind down the window, stick my head out and yell like a fishwife.

If they are on my behind I flash my fog lights (they think I'm braking and pull back), or I become Driving Miss Daisy and refuse to go above 10 mph.

My husband, in the passenger seat, makes strange hand movements, usually with clenched fists and white knuckles. My particular favourite gesture is when he cowers down in the seat and covers his entire head. So sweet.

But, hey, it isn't my driving that's the problem. It's the others. I've compiled a list of road users:

Middle Lane Hoggers: You know the kind, they sit in the middle lane so if you want to overtake you have to move two lanes just to get in front of them. Grrrr

Sunday Drivers: They drive slooooowy, looking at scenery, pointing out things of interest to their passengers and suddenly stopping when they spot a landmark.

Boy Racers: These undertake, cut you up, drive with their music blaring from an open window. Don't give them eye contact. It'll make them think you admire them. 

White Van Drivers: These are closely related to Lorry/Truck Drivers. Very arrogant with their large vehicles and their ability to look down on other road users--literally. Overtake them, accidentally or not, and they'll NEVER forgive you. I watched Duel and, trust me, these things could happen!

Mummy Drivers: These are usually turned the other way with one hand on the stirring wheel the other holding a tissue and wiping snot or vomit from a child on the back seat.

Chick Lit Readers: Perfect.

Get it for 77p or 99c while you can...
A Proper Charlie

A British contemporary romance novel...
jolly good fun!

What happens when prostitutes go missing, and Charlie's shy boss, Ben Middleton, is a suspect? 

What happens when Charlie pretends to be a hooker for the newspaper story she's working on, and is "picked up" by Ben? 

What happens when she is abducted and only the handsome Ben knows where she is? 

Poor Charlie, she only wanted recognition. She should've stayed home. 

Available in many formats:

Nook: http://bit.ly/170HtWj

Kobo: http://bit.ly/14U6lfs

Paperback: http://amzn.to/14JZWEj (full price)

Amazon: http://bookShow.me/B004NSV6NK

Apple iStore: http://bit.ly/1d4XaC1