How was it for you?

March.

Three chapters; check. Synopsis; check. Pre-addressed stamped envelope; check. Cover letter; check.

I slide them into the A4 neatly addressed envelope, and seal. At the post office I weigh it, pay, and the nice lady puts it into her sack.

I have a positive feeling about my ms this time. The nice post office lady smiled at me for a start (she never usually does), there were no queues (doubly unusual) and I found a two pound coin in my jean pocket. How many more signs do I need?

April.

Nothing but bills fall on the mat. Should I begin submitting again? Would the agent get to hear about my “multi submission” (they talk over coffee all the time, don’t they?) and subsequently toss my ms into the bin in annoyance?

Just in case I don’t submit to another agent and sit and wait. And wait.

May.

I wonder if they received it? Maybe that nice lady at the post office wasn’t so nice after all? Maybe the sack she put it in was mistaken for rubbish and thrown out? Maybe the postman didn’t read the address correctly and it’s gone astray?

June.

Neat enquiry letter; check. Stamped addressed envelope; check: I have very politely asked the agent if they've had enough time to consider my ms.

I slide it into the envelope and as there is no need to visit the post office for a standard letter, I pop on a first class stamp and drop it into the post box. Bugger, I think as the letter falls to the bottom of the post box, the agent will surely think I‘m take the piss and will definitely reject my proposal now. Why didn't I give it one more month?

Back home, I kick the cat, ground the kids for no particular reason and begin an argument with hubby.

July.

Shopping bags in both hands, another under my arm and one between my teeth I shoulder my way in through the front door and step on a familiar A4 envelope.

My heart plummets as I realise it’s a rejection (if it were an acceptance, why would an agent return my submission?). I kick the offending envelope across the hallway, and struggle into the kitchen with my shopping without realising I’ve been spilling milk from a faulty carton and it’s dripped up my path, on my carpets and probably even inside the the boot of my car! I drop the shopping on the kitchen floor, curse the milk, curse the supermarket and curse the agent.

I telephone hubby at work and off load my anger. He smartly lets me rant and comes home with wine and chocolate. He then spends the evening telling me the agent was an illiterate hack who wouldn’t know a good author if one punched him on the nose. Hmmm, that sounds like a good idea. But the bottle of wine has watered my emotion, and the chocolate sweetened it.

Three chapters; check. Synopsis; check. Pre-addressed stamped envelope; check. Cover letter; check…

Writing a Query Letter

Here are a few simple factors when writing your query letter:

ALWAYS enclose an SAE – no buts, or whys, just enclose one big enough for your ms to be returned. And on sending make sure you put on the correct postage!

Try and find out the name of the agent you want to approach, but don't rely on Writers' and Artists' Handbook and the like too much, because agents change jobs frequently. Use their full name "Annie Agentson", rather than Mrs Agentson.

DON'T try and be clever and gimmicky in your approach, neither be hostile. If an agent likes the look of your book, they will be trying to detect whether they could work with you by your letter content.

AGENTS have seen it all before. Be slick. Be professional. A little humility and subtle touch of humour in a letter can't hurt. Although, cheeky can pay off arrogance doesn’t bode well at all, so know the difference.

DON’T be pretentious or try too hard to be impressive. Agents don't care if you won Twitter's Shorty Award two years ago.
 

NOT every agent wants a long synopsis. Many prefer a 'back of the book' blurb – it could pay to find out.

DON'T be afraid to drop your book if it gets enough rejections and start again on another. There is a reason agents don’t want it, even if you can’t see it.

Read the company's guidelines before sending them anything, and stick to it. I get irritated when people send me things without looking into what I do. I get emails daily from writers who request I agent them or worse publish them! I do neither of these, so imagine the amount of unrelated emails an agent will receive.

NEVER mention the amount of rejections you have had for your ms – makes you sound like a failure.

NEVER tell the agent this is your first book and you’re new to writing. If you’ve published before however, reveal all.

NEVER say you have been working on a book for five or more years. Agents want authors who can churn out a book every year.

Do add links to your website/blog if it's writing related.

DON'T expect, just because you have an agent, you will automatically find a publisher. This can also take many

years and many more books.

Do keep your query letter brief, and straight to the point. Be professional, and don't write it in the tone of your novel. Save that for the synopsis.

REMEMBER the rejection slips are kept in bulk, and slipped into the returns envelope without thinking of you. You are just a commodity and rejections aren’t personal.

Keep your query to one page, and don't forget to add the date to the top.

Include all relevant material in the query, but don't go and repeat it all in the synopsis, keep that for telling (not showing) the facts of the story.

Your query letter should be gently persuasive. Include other publications that have your similar theme, but make sure it's not from the agency you are writing to (especially if they are a small company). If they already represent a thriller writer why would they want to risk their established author's irk to take on yours?

If you have been lucky enough to find interest in your ms, send it promptly when asked. In your cover letter, remind them of their request. Here, you do not need to enclose an SAE.

But did you know literary agents often, to save on printing costs, reuse the manuscripts that have been submitted?

They simply recycle the pages, and print what they need on the other side. So do make sure it’s your name and not the title of your book at the top of the page.

And if you sent a SAE and it hasn’t been returned your ms could be laying around with doodles on the other side! Or being idly read by an office worker - or a top agent. 

Obviously there are loads of books on this subject, but there is no hidden formula really. It's basically grabbing the interest of an agent with the right book at the right time.

Query/cover letter

Here's my cover letter for A Proper Charlie. I'm told it must be a page long, no longer, must reveal a little about me, mention the book (not too much, that's what a synopsis is for!) and tell of past triumphants if any - mine's a few short stories in women's magazines and Eden my first novel.


Mr Lovely Agent
1 Will Represent You Road
London
WC2A 2GH

Dear Mr Lovely Agent

I enclose the synopsis and sample three chapters of my 80,000 word chicklit novel, A PROPER CHARLIE as requested in your new submission guidelines.

A PROPER CHARLIE is a contemporary romantic comedy aimed at the modern woman. Charlie is an office clerk. She’s a modern, social butterfly, and Ben is a serious, social dodger. Both are attracted to one another and both think the other is too good for them. They also have secrets.


I believe this novel will be enjoyed by twenty and thirtysomethings in particular. I see it as a novel for the Bridget Jones/Love Actually market.

I have worked very hard to make this novel as ready as possible for publication but I am also very used to welcoming editorial guidance. I am ambitious to become a successful author and am prepared to work as hard as necessary to achieve that.


I have EDEN published with YouWriteOn.com (POD), and run my own successful writing group for aspiring writers.

I know how busy you must be with existing clients but you will understand that I want to approach other agents fairly soon; therefore, I will submit A Proper Charlie to other agents or publishers in three weeks.

I very much hope that you will like what you read and that you will want to see the rest of A PROPER CHARLIE.


Yours Faithfully,

Louise Wise.

So whadda think? I've researched the "perfect cover letter" and have taken advice from many writers including Nicola Morgan and her BRILLIANT blog (try the link, why don't you?).

There is lots of advice out there, and I've come to the conclusion that there isn't one particular right way! A few wrong ways maybe, but definitely no right ways. It's a matter of telling the agent/publisher what you're offering in a business like manner.

How hard can that be?

Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!