🎄 ‘I was in control. That was, after all, the essence of me. I wanted Lex, and he wanted me. Consenting adults. No relationship. Just sex.’ Oh no, I’ve Fallen in Love! is a #romcom that deals with real life. http://bookShow.me/B008ATGF4I #dark #comedy #dryhumour #books #Psychological

Some people just cope badly with festivities, while others cope badly all year round. 

Valerie's one of those 'all year round' people. 

Valerie Anthrope is neurotic and a regimented loner whose life unfolds after a ‘chance’ encounter with a stranger called Ellen who claims she’s Valerie’s fairy godmother.

And it is Ellen who introduces her to her nephew, Lex. But Lex is no Prince Charming! He’s a smooth-talking, egotistical know-it-all and worse, he thinks he’s God’s gift to women.

Lex learns the hard way that illness is sometimes invisible and hidden by the sufferer.

Valerie learns that she needs to reconnect with society, and accept help for her condition. 

Ellen doesn’t learn anything.

 She’s perfect as she is.

Oh No, I’ve Fallen in Love!

By

Louise Wise

This year, like last year, and the year before that, I turned down Paul and Milly’s invitation to Christmas dinner. They wouldn’t really want me there. They just asked me out of politeness, I was sure. Anyway, they had their children and grandchildren to cater for.

I wandered into my kitchen in my bathrobe and on autopilot drank two espressos standing at the window. Although I was relieved that the strange dreams seemed to have lessened since Boots disappeared, I’d have given anything to have her share Christmas with me.

The kitchen was small but bright because of the large window that overlooked the rear garden. The garden, like me, was immaculately kept – controlled. Neatly trimmed shrubs and small tubs of winter pansies filled the area.

The blue sky was misleading. Outside was icy cold; I could see frost in the shadows where the sun couldn’t reach. I observed my garden: pretending I wasn’t, but knowing I was searching for Boots. I did it every morning now. It was becoming a ritual. Another one.

I washed my cup in the sink, dried it and placed it back on the mug tree. One of the cups was facing the wrong way, so I took it off and put it on correctly. Frowning, I took all the cups off and replaced them higgledy-piggledy.

My Christmas involved staying in my pyjamas until midday, a long jog, a scented bath and a meal and a glass of wine or two while watching some Christmas movie. As I thought of my run, I could see in my mind’s eye, Lex Kendal standing outside the theatre. It was strange to think of him now when I hadn’t seen him for almost a month. A huge chunk of regret that I refused his offer of a night out caught me unawares. I wondered if I’d see him again. Then I wondered why I’d want to: egotistical, arrogant, annoying, sexy man.

I looked out over my winter garden. A robin hopped onto the bird bath, hoping for a drink, but the water was frozen. I grabbed a jug, filled it with water and took it outside. Shivering, I cracked the ice and added the water as the robin flew away.

I could hear squeals of excitement from my neighbours’ house and tried to imagine what Christmas would be like in a household with three boys.

In the front room, I put on the TV for background noise and sat looking at the Christmas tree. My eyes slid to the family photo on the wall: my mother holding new-born Sean with my dad standing behind looking over her shoulder, one hand protectively surrounding mother and baby, the other on the shoulder of a skinny, pig-tailed girl smiling a gappy smile.

I knew she was me. Yet, I couldn’t recognise her.

My gaze drifted to the base of the tree. There lay several presents, and I could probably tell what was in them without opening. Paul and Milly buy me a calendar every year without fail, and Tim a bottle of perfume. I was as imaginative. I buy Paul and Milly a nice wine, and Tim whisky.

I had given them their presents previously, and the gifts they’d given me in return were under my tree. I almost didn’t put them there, telling myself I was silly. I wished I hadn’t now. It somehow made the Christmas day stretch ahead interminably. My eyes dropped to the extra gift under the tree. Just like Ellen’s personality, it was brightly gift-wrapped with a huge red bow. I had been embarrassed to receive the gift; after all, Ellen had already given me the dress. I had bought Ellen a keyring and a matching pink scarf, gloves and hat set. The keyring was silver with a solitary diamond encrusted into a plaque that said ‘Fairy Godmother’. It had taken me ages to choose something for her. It was important to me that she liked my gift.

I picked up the package. It was quite heavy and had a solid feel to it. I read the label: Dear Valerie, Merry Christmas, all my love your fairy godmother. Smiling, I carefully pulled off the sparkly wrapping.

Inside was a beautiful hard-backed book: Cats Behaving Badly. It had real-life photos of cats doing the most amusing things with captions beneath. I smiled as I read one. Closing the book, I raised it to my nose and inhaled. I loved the smell of new books.

‘Thanks, Ellen,’ I said to the empty room. I thought about phoning and saying thank you properly, but knew she would be busy with family as would Paul and Tim.

Christmas was boring and over-hyped. I hated Christmas. Easter and all bank holidays too, come to that. Those were the days where I had to close the office and pretend to everyone that I wasn’t lonely. 

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L. Wise is a British author of erotica. Her debut novel is the acclaimed sci-fi romance EDEN, which was followed by its sequel HUNTED in 2013.

Jelvia: Not Human series is themed on the above Eden and Hunted books. Holding Out for a Hero book 1 is Wise’s newest release. Surviving her Dominate book 2 will be ready for publication 2019.

Writing under the name of Louise Wise, her other (non-erotica) works include A PROPER CHARLIE (romantic comedy), OH NO, I’VE FALLEN IN LOVE! (dark, comedy romance), and WIDE AWAKE ASLEEP (time travel, romance).

Giveaway Alert!!! Win a signed copies of The Second Cup by Sarah Marie Graye .@SarahMarieGraye #heartfelt #stories .@rararesources #sucide #tearjerking

Today, I’m taking part in the first anniversary blog blitz for The Second Cup by Sarah Marie Graye. I asked Sarah Marie to share the most heart-rending scene from her novel and she chose the scene where Abbie finds out she’s pregnant.

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 The Second Cup

by

Sarah Marie Graye

Abbie had known there was something awry with her body the way only a pregnant person can. And it wasn’t just the swollen ankles, swollen abdomen and swollen breasts.

The tiredness and the backache that she’d put down to too many long days and too many late nights had reached the heights where they could no longer be ignored as symptoms of something bigger.

The pregnancy test was a mere formality: a wand to wave magician-like at Ebbs in a “look what we’ve made” kind of way. Except that she didn’t want to wave anything at Ebbs, except maybe a hand to shoo him away.

She had a little person growing inside of her and it was half Ebbs and she didn’t know if she wanted it. And until she knew, she wasn’t going to be able to tell him.

The secrets and the waiting and the decisions. They all became nothing when the pain came. It didn’t just rip her in two: she’d felt hung, drawn and quartered, her mind flitting back to history lessons at school, to the horrors of the centuries gone by where people who betrayed the crown were subject to a slow and humiliating torturous death.

Abbie felt like she was suffering a similar agonising fate, but all she could think of was the little person inside of her, that they were probably dying in her place.

Ebbs rushed her to A&E, knowing something was terribly wrong, but having no idea of the cause. At that point Ebbs simply cared about Abbie – and she realised she could have told him. But it’s too late for confessions, so she must speak in whispers with the hospital staff.

A positive pregnancy test confirms what she tells them in hushed tones. An ultrasound scan confirms the worst. Nothing in her uterus.

An explosion in her right fallopian tube. The worst type of ectopic pregnancy. A medical emergency. Abbie rushed into theatre, crying for herself, for her dead baby, for anything to make the pain go away. She cried out – the sounds began to form the name “Paul” – and she quietens herself with her fist in case Ebbs is near.

Later, after a straightforward laparoscopy, she was moved to the recovery ward, her ruptured fallopian tube removed. Her baby removed.

The part of her and Ebbs that she didn’t know if she wanted she now so desperately craved. She knew it was the hormones pulsating round her body, but that knowledge didn’t stop her womb from aching for the life that never was.

Later still, she was at home with Ebbs, the two of them coming to terms with the pregnancy neither of them supposedly knew about. He thinks it is easier that way: that they never got to know the idea of having a baby before it was taken away.  

She agreed, nodding, trying to hide the waves of grief for the baby she’d known about for three weeks. And along with that grief, she needed to come to terms with a diagnosis of pelvic inflammatory disease causing damage to her fallopian tubes. The reason her baby didn’t make it to her womb.

The potential damage it may have caused to her other fallopian tube. The problems she may face conceiving safely in the future.

She comforts herself with “at least” – the motto she has come to live her life by – that at least they didn’t have a Band-Aid baby. So Abbie knew she needed to be grateful alongside her grieving. To not be trapped by a baby like her mother was.

And then later still, none of it matters. Shortness of breath, followed by feeling faint, followed by yet more pain. Another hurried journey to A&E. Another visit to theatre. A nasty infection. Another tube removed.

Just isolated ovaries swimming around inside her, with no connection to her womb. No way to make babies – Band-Aid or not.

And then later still, Abbie and Ebbs are no longer together. The doctor checked Abbie’s scars and told her she had healed well. She looked down at her abdomen and agreed. Physically she had healed very well.

The little cream lines near her belly button sat in the natural folds of her skin and could easily be mistaken for chicken pox scars. Yes. Physically she had healed very well.

And then later still, came an extra glass of wine to ease the pain, to keep her company, an attempt to fill the hole. And then later still came Dominic. But the hole was too big for him to fill too.

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 The Second Cup

Would your life unravel if someone you knew committed suicide? Theirs did.

Faye knows her heart still belongs to her first love, Jack. She also knows he might have moved on, but when she decides to track him down, nothing prepares her for the news that he's taken his own life.

Faye is left wondering how to move forward - and whether or not Jack's best friend Ethan will let her down again. And the news of Jack's death ripples through the lives of her friends too.

Abbie finds herself questioning her marriage, and wondering if she was right to leave her first love behind. Poor Olivia is juggling her job and her boyfriend and trying to deal with a death of her own. And Jack's death has hit Beth the hardest, even though she never knew him.

Is Beth about to take her own life too?

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Giveaway – Win 3 x Signed copies of The Second Cup by Sarah Marie Graye

(Open Internationally)

*Terms and Conditions –Worldwide entries welcome.  Please enter using the Rafflecopter box below.  The winner will be selected at random via Rafflecopter from all valid entries and will be notified by Twitter and/or email. If no response is received within 7 days then I reserve the right to select an alternative winner. Open to all entrants aged 18 or over.  Any personal data given as part of the competition entry is used for this purpose only and will not be shared with third parties, with the exception of the winners’ information. This will passed to the giveaway organiser and used only for fulfilment of the prize, after which time I will delete the data.  I am not responsible for despatch or delivery of the prize.

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Sarah Marie Graye was born in Manchester in 1975, to English Catholic parents. To the outside world Sarah Marie’s childhood followed a relatively typical Manchester upbringing, until aged nine, when she was diagnosed with depression.

It’s a diagnosis that has stayed with Sarah Marie over three decades, and something she believes has coloured every life decision, including the one to write a novel.

Sarah Marie wrote The Second Cup as part of an MA Creative Writing practice as research degree at London South Bank University – where she was the vice-chancellor’s scholarship holder.

Sarah Marie was diagnosed with ADHD in November 2017 and published an extended edition of The Second Cup in February 2018 that included character interviews so she could diagnose one of her characters with the same condition.

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When your world shatters, how do you put it back together? @rararesources @JuneAConverse #mentalhealth #coverreaveal

Decide to Hope

An unimaginable trauma. A future that seems impossible.

When your world shatters, how do you put it back together?

For 950 days, Kathleen Conners has struggled with that choice. Behind a scarf and sunglasses, she hides from the world, from herself, from The Event, from any future with anyone.

After receiving a box of letters from his deceased mother, Matt Nelson is shoved from his predictable, controlled life to a secluded beach in North Carolina. While trying to understand his mother's intent, he discovers Kathleen.

Matt must choose whether to follow the path his mother orchestrated or rescue the woman who has captured his heart. When the only person Kathleen blames more than herself reappears, can Matt be the strength Kathleen needs to create a new life, or will he be forced to walk away if she decides the climb is too great?

Cover Reveal

…drum roll...

Pre-order your copy!

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~~~

Author, June Converse, happily resides in Sandy Springs, Georgia, with her husband, Dave, and their dog, Sodapop.  They have two wonderful adult children and two grandchildren.  She is an enthusiastic exerciser and an accomplished cook.  She and her husband enjoy hiking with Sodapop, traveling, scuba diving, trying new restaurants, concerts, and whatever other adventures they can find.  Reading and a constant desire to learn keeps her busy too. 

A trauma survivor who struggles with mental illness, June is continuously reaching for hope like the characters in her books.  She openly discusses her personal struggles on her blog, JuneConverse.com

Decide to Hope is her first novel and relies a great deal on her own experience with trauma, choices, recovery and hope.  If you’d like to discuss trauma, coping and recovery, contact her at JuneConverse.com or DecideToHope.com

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Have you seen a pattern emerge from your novel writing?

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I have.

I seem to write about loneliness. It wasn't a conscious effort to include this core emotion (some might argue it's a state of mind not an emotion), but it just seemed to happen. I'm not a lonely person. I love being on my own, but in reality, as a mother of four and from a large family, those moments are rare.

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In Eden the main character is deserted on a planet after a space mission goes horribly wrong. It's a sort of a cross between Robinson and Crusoe and Blue Lagoon only not on Earth. It's a 'soft' sci-fi, or as I prefer to call it, a romance tied up with a science fiction ribbon. Imagine being the only person on a strange planet. Scary!

Hunted is the sequel to Eden. This book is less romance and more focused on survival. The main character, Jenny, has found happiness on Eden, but her world is pulled apart when she realises she's been living in self-denial at ever being happy. Life's a struggle when you've no one to turn to and your mind plays wonderful tricks.

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I tried my hand at a comedy romance with A Proper Charlie, surely loneliness can't feature in a romcom? But it does. Here, the main character, Charlie realises she's hanging on to her 'no good' boyfriend because she doesn't want to be alone, then she goes after an exclusive (she's a wannabe reporter), regardless of the dangers just so she can belong at work. It's madcap, with dry British humour but loneliness features in the book all the same.

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But The Fall of the Misanthrope: I bitch, therefore I am is the only book that I wrote consciously with the theme of loneliness. Valerie is a hardcore bitch, or rather, a tries-very-hard-to-be bitch. I wrote it as a dark chick lit, chatty and funny, but with the under-theme of darkness from the main character. She's depressed, but hides it from everyone she knows. Of course, the paint flakes and then the cracks appear in Valerie's emotional state. This was the book that made me research loneliness, and I never realised it could be a symptom rather than a cause of depression. Or how painful and life debilitating is can be.

I'm introverted, but being and feeling lonely is something else altogether. I wouldn't want to go there... unless it's in my books.