OMG! Women write zombie books! @ApacoTaco

Tis the turn of Stevie Kopas 

with her incredibly Boring Author Interview Revisited

What’s so great about your crap book? (Don't want the boring details, a couple of lines is suffice!)
The Breadwinner and Haven are great because I wrote them. I put a lot of time and effort into creating a horrific world for people to get killed in and I’m excited about it. You’ve got a good solid mix of character flow, post apocalyptic adventure and zombie madness. What’s not to love?

The Breadwinner (American) 

The Breadwinner (UK)

Haven (American)

Haven (UK)

If you didn’t have your book professionally edited: What made you think you’re so perfect that you didn’t need to pay a professional?
I didn’t have the money to pay anybody and at the time I didn’t know anybody who I trusted with editing my books.
I know a brilliant chap called John Hudspith (gotta get the plugs where you can!)

Yawn, so basically you're the same as all the rest of the authors on Amazon and you’re the Next Best Thing. I don’t think so. Come on, tell me why should I spend time reading YOUR book over more well-received authors?
I’m a female author in a male dominated genre. I’m also a younger author still in her twenties in a genre dominated by older, more seasoned authors. But I’ve got what it takes to run with the big boys and I never have been, never will be afraid to put my name out there, get my hands dirty and do the damn thing. So if you don’t want to read an awesome horror/zombie book written by a lady like me then you must be too boring.

What qualifications do you have for writing in your genre?
I have absolutely no qualifications for writing in my genre…unless you count my years of secret professional zombie hunting. Then yeah, I don’t see how anybody else could be more qualified than me.  

Many authors use their qualifications to show off their so-called talents i.e. crime writers are often coppers (police, for the non-Brits present) and the book becomes boringly technical. How have you managed to keep your knowledge low key? Or haven’t you bothered?
I’m not usually supposed to tell people about my years spent in the underground zombie market, but because of my experience with discreet killing, black market trade and sales, I have the upper hand on a lot of people who don’t realize how at any moment, if it weren’t for people like me, things could get out of control and we’d have a zombie apocalypse on our hands.
I'm feeling so much better with you on the streets to protect me, but when you hunt zombies can you keep the noise down? All that wailing (no sure if that's from you or the zombies) is driving me insane!

What part of the world do you come from?
I live in Florida, the very tip of the southeastern United States.

What do you think of your government?
My government told me to tell you that I love them.
Not on your zombie hunting list then?

If you were me (you know, perfect) and knew nothing about a person and you were told to interview them, what’s the one question you would ask? (answer it).
So I guess I’m asking myself what my favorite video game is. Self, what’s your favorite video game? That’s a tough one self, I’d have to call it a toss-up between Fallout and Bioshock.

Do you have any bad habits, or stupid rituals you HAVE to do in order to write?
It always ends up with me either tweaking out from too much coffee or getting shitty from drinking too much wine.
You get shitty from drinking wine? I end up conducting crap interviews!

Authors are usually labelled as ‘dreamers’ and ‘loners’. Have you been labelled as such?
If I have, nobody’s told me to my face. I don’t discriminate and think everyone has asshole tendencies, so if I had to choose between being around people all the time or being by myself, I’d choose hanging with me, me, me. But I do love having an active social life, even if it means I have to tell people to fuck off from time to time.

And what implications do you think that has on a writer?
I think writers need to stop labelling themselves. What’s the point? You want people to think you’re “weird” or “different” because you sit in a basement and drink by yourself while you write you think is your magnum opus? A lot of writers take themselves way too seriously and in turn, disrespect other writers by projecting their pompous vibes onto others. I don’t have time for that, what you see is what you get with me and as a writer, that just means I’m a writer, I don’t have a label or a name for it.
You said it, sister! I've no time for 'up their arses' authors. Why does 'being an author' make some so bloody arrogant? Ugh! OK, best get off this subject before I go into a full-blown rant.

Describe your perfect death (in case I have to kill you)?
Please make sure I’m sleeping, preferably after drinking a good bottle of wine.

Give me the first, middle and end line in your book.
First, middle, and end lines of The Breadwinner, Book 1 in The Breadwinner Trilogy:

1. Franklin Woods was the most upscale community a person could find in Columbia Beach, Florida.
2. Veronica’s heart was caught in her throat and her thoughts raced.
3. She felt his eyes on her but never took hers off the burning building.

First, middle, and end line of Haven, book 2 in The Breadwinner Trilogy:

1. The gentle rocking of the boat gave Samson little comfort. 
2. “Fuck.” She whispered under her breath. 
3. She closed her eyes and gave no further thought to the waking world.

Thank you, Stevie, good luck with your zombie hunting.

Comment and judge on this short story: Monster Race

**The winner of WWBB's short story competition will win a review and an author spotlight. Your comments will help me decide the winner.**

by

John Hudspith

Alice settled on the warm grass, sun behind her, breeze coming left to right; a strong breeze at that - just the thing for a monster race because the critters go faster with the wind at their tails.

Alice didn’t have long to wait. A skeletal dog came bounding into view in dreamy slow motion. The dragon behind had a funny jaw, sort of hooked like a parrot, and it was stretching wider and wider. Alice was certain the dog would be swallowed whole if it didn’t get a move on.

Too late. The bones in the dog’s neck separated and its skull went rolling forward. Alice gasped when she realised the rest of the dog had vanished. The dragon’s mouth was firmly shut, it looked fatter too and went sailing past without any clue that it might be feeling guilty at all. Dragons were sly things. Poor dog.

Alice smiled at the size and pure beauty of the boldest, whitest horse she’d ever seen. Shame it had six legs. It reared up, crashed down, up, down, then its hooves galloped into a roll, so fast they became a blur. It was plain to see what made the handsome horse so speedy. A trio of fat goblins were in pursuit, but that wasn’t the bad of the matter. No. Behind the goblins (which now dispersed so quickly Alice only blinked and they’d gone) came a fat grey snake, easily big enough to swallow the dragon, never mind the six-legged horse. Alice held her breath as it neared the speeding stallion. Its forked tongue curled out, stretched, then zapped at the horse’s hind legs which evaporated into fine mist. The horse tumbled and broke into bits, legs scattering like old bones thrown by a witch. Alice laughed. This was fun.

Then came a giant. Well, Alice presumed it was a giant. His legs and arms were normal sized but his head was definitely bigger than Alice’s house. He didn’t move very fast – due to the small legs, obviously. And he’d no hope of winning the race. Not unless he cheated. Alice watched as the giant lumbered. The others way in front had gone now. This giant was boring. He didn’t even look at her. Didn’t smile. Just rolled by with his ginormous head.

Alice sighed and wished the giant away and in seconds a new racer entered the game – a black rat – bigger than giant big head. Alice clapped her hands because the rat was fast and soon nipping at the giant’s ears. Its snout opened wide and began sucking giant big head inside. His little legs kicked for mercy.

“Eat him all up,” said Alice, just as the rat spread its black form upwards and outwards. Now it was a hooded figure, one long arm extended to the racers in front.

“Ha!” Alice laughed, then the dark figure vanished behind Ma’s bloomers.

“Watching the clouds again, sweetheart?”

“Uh-uh.”

“Think it’s going to rain?”

“No Ma, it’ll pass.”

“Who won today?”

“The man in the hood, Ma…” Alice got up and skipped down the yard. “…He always wins.”

An interview with a child star!

An interview with Kimi Nichols 

from the YA fantasy novels 

Kimi's Secret and Kimi's Fear 

by John Hudspith

Lovely to meet you, Kimi Nichols! Everyone, this is Kimi back from her latest adventure in `Kimi’s Fear`. Hello, Kimi.

Read Kimi's Secret FREE!

Kimi's Fear – new low price!

Hi, thank you for having me.

Kimi, your first adventure began in the book `Kimi’s Secret` written by a guy called John Hudspith, he was pretty clever, writing about your adventures (must give him some credit I suppose, although I know you did all the heroics!). It must make you feel quite special!

Kimi

Ha! Me, special? Don’t think so. But I do feel lucky, very lucky to be the chosen one. Not many thirteen year-olds get to do such cool stuff like getting every bone in their body broken or sucking dodo brains through a curly straw.

Have you recovered from your amazing adventures, and are you ready to answer all sorts of questions for your fans?

Yep, I’m good. The boss puts me in stasis whenever I’m not in his head so it’s great to get the chance to come out and chat.

Will you ever go back to Mousehole and have a ‘normal’ life? Would you want to?

I love Mousehole, so peaceful, and the people are lovely, well, apart from Old Grot.

Who’s Old Grot?

She looks like a witch and drives a bus through the village ten times a day, and, you know the streets are really narrow, right? Well, she blocks cars in and just stares at the drivers. She’s so rude. Now that I have my mojo I’d like to go back there and shoot a few stunners up her –

Errr, okay, Kimi…

Exhaust pipe, I was going to say exhaust pipe.

Right. So, would you ever go back there and live a normal life?

Maybe when I’m old and grey – if the boss lets me live that long. I’ve seen some pretty scary thoughts in his head.

Get your world in order and the reader will Believe – The Truth Is Out There!

Science fiction – getting your world in order

by

John Hudspith

How often do you put a book down simply because the writer has failed to coerce you into suspending belief and accepting his alternate reality?

Creating a sci-fi world, be it a full blown otherworld with all the bells and whistles, designed to suspend reader in a depth of all-encompassing fiction, or a mild shot of dystopia delivered with minimalist subtleness intent on merely supporting the story, or somewhere in the middle of these two extremes, one thing is certain: there are a few key ingredients to use when cooking your creation. Okay, thinking about it, there’s more than a few - choices are infinite. Cooking up real deal fictional physics intent on creating a believable world boils down to three main ingredients.

Passion + Belief + Integrity

Take one hefty dose of Passion, mix with very Strong Belief, add unbridled integrity, and stir until the cows come home.

Passion.

If writing flying cars into your world, then you will do a better job if you’re keen on cars. If your passion is driving, pimping your ride, then the fictional flying cars you create will no doubt be something special.

If your dystopia has elements of warfare, and it just so happens that you are gun nut, or a marine/policeman/soldier then the soldiers/policemen/weapons you create will surely be something special.

That old writers’ adage: `write what you know` is an adage for a reason.

I’d like to add another: `write what is you`

In my case, for the creation of Kimi’s Secret it was: Aliens, ghosts and magic.

These are the things that tortured my youth with bafflement, worked their way into my bones and have held me ever since.

Spielberg wowed me with Close Encounters of the Third Kind around the same time as my mother had us spellbound with tales of spirit forms, and around the same time the news was buzzing with young girls being flung around by poltergeists, Uri Geller bending spoons, and thousands of people throwing themselves into frenzies at PK (psychokinetic) parties.

Never a believer, always the sceptic, hoping to witness the evidence that would prove little grey men were real, that ghosts were indeed some manifestation of human energy, and that we humans could really defy the laws of physics and move objects just by thinking about it.

Kimi's secret - YA fantasy at its gory best.

Wanna see something really scary?

When death comes knocking on your door there is really only one place to hide. Dragged screaming to the paranormal world of Heart, where ghosts are real, big cats prowl, aliens are greylians, monkeys rule, trolls troll, fairies are vermin, the Adepts always know best, magic is mojo and roasted dodo is the dish of the day; Kimi Nichols is handed a secret that must never be revealed. To do so would mean the end of mankind. 

WARNING: 

contains imploding toads, gravity-defying clowns, liquefied brains, a sadistic dentist and a deformed taxidermist; great dollops of blood and bogies, half a million crows, and a giant with OCD.

Gothic horror meets supernatural sci-fi; Kimi’s Secret will leave you gagging, breathless and sleeping with the light on.


This book will be FREE Sunday 6th May and Monday 7th.
Download it FREE while you can.

An interview with John Hudspith - author of Kimi's Secret

The line-up for May on Wise Words

It's almost May! Summer is around the corner for old Blighty. We've a hosepipe ban already, so you'd think it would be Vitamin D all round, wouldn't you? Ha! This is England, probably the only country where you'd get rain, drizzle and more rain and a hosepipe ban simultaneously!

Love it!

This month the theme is OPEN. The touring authors can write whatever they like!