Can Bill Leviathan set me alight with this author interview?

 Boring Author Interview Revisited...

What do you really think about erotica? Is it the low of the lows for writers?
I've never read it, but I have often considered writing it. Especially after I "accidentally" got drunk by myself. If you can earn some off of it, who cares?

I agree, if you can earn and people enjoy 'that sort of thing' who cares, but I wish there was a classification for it. I picked up a book thinking it was a romance and, let's just say, I'm still in shock! You can do rude things on a motorbike (and I'm not talking a little hanky-panky!)?

 
If you didn’t have your book professionally edited: What made you think you’re so perfect that you didn’t need to pay a professional?
I don't think I'm perfect, but I do know I'm a cheap bastard. Apologies to anyone reading my book.

Is there an author who inspires (perspires) you? Do you think you write better than them? Is your aim to out-sell them?

Amazon | Smashwords

I like to see myself as the next borderline insane, alcoholic author that Jim Thompson was. Being able to write truly psychotic characters from the first person so convincingly takes quite a special talent. I'm not there yet, and I don't see myself writing scripts for directors as renowned as Kubrick any time soon either. 

I don't believe his books sold that well during his lifetime, but he still made a living off of them. I can only dream if selling that well.

What qualifications do you have for writing in your genre? Many authors use their qualifications to show off their so-called talents i.e. crime writers are often coppers (police, for the non-Brits present) and the book becomes boringly technical. How have you managed to keep your knowledge low key? Or haven’t you bothered?

Set Me Alight involves a lonely bitter kid trying to become a forest fire fighter. I know nothing of fire fighting, forests, or "roughing it" beyond watching Suvivorman. However, the story is a very technical portrayal of being lonely and bitter.

If I were to read your book would I have to scroll through lots of acknowledgements saying how wonderful your book is before I got to the meat of a story?

No

If your book is set outside England would I understand your jargon? I mean, fanny means lady front parts NOT backside, car hood is a car bonnet--everyone knows that, right? Are British Englishisms/Americanisms/Australianisms etc important in your book? It's all about identity, isn't it?

I'm American, but I don't believe there are many Americanisms in my book. Kind of hard to say though being an culturally ignorant American and all.

I was told by one reader that my use of "carryout container" may be confusing as Brits call it "takeaway".
I've not heard of a 'carryout container'. Sounds a mouthful (pun intended). Why over complicate things? Takeaway is much simpler.

Why that shitty title? Did you run out of ideas?

I felt the title, Set Me Alight, was the only legitimately well written thing I produced for this story. Gives a nice sense of dread and defeat. Also, all my other ideas were terrible.
If I didn't look at the cover first, I'd say it sounded like a romance. But with that cover, it sounds like a horror story.

Authors are usually labelled as ‘dreamers’ and ‘loners’. Have you been labelled as such? And what implications do you think that has on a writer?

I have been labeled as a loner before. I'd say I self describe as a loner more than people call me one. It has a certain pathetic, romantic quality, you know? If you're a loner you're always taking on the world by yourself, never relying on anyone else. There's a level of pride to it. Though, if that's how you feel about being called a loner, you probably aren't a real 'loner' to being with.
If you rely on someone else nothing would get done, is my analogy.

I imagine a lot of writers get the label as most of what they do is done in solitude, especially for self-published authors.
True. But they must enjoy that 'loneliness' or they'd take up another occupation, surely?

Does ‘being a writer’ make you feel like an outsider with normal, everyday people such as your family and friends?

No, but I also like to think I'm not a pretentious asshole.
I'm saying nuffin.

Describe your perfect death (in case I have to kill you)?

Autoerotic self-asphyxiation. I'll be guaranteed to make the news that way.
Thought you said you'd never read erotica? Hmmm

Give me the first, middle and end line in your book.

1. It's so God damned cold in here.
2. Kevin must have gotten it in his mind that I wanted to listen to him speak.
3. Now, time to sort through all these documents.

Thanks Bill, in answer to my own question in the title... no.