Tuesday 9 July 2013

Bye, bye KDP Select it's been fun but . . .

Amazon
there's someone else. 

And no, you don't know him. It's not Smashwords. I know, he and I have had our little flings in the past but he was too OCD, you know the type, not validated this, copyright page that, no indents, lots of indents... I couldn't keep up.

My author introduced me to D2D and he isn't the poor man's little robot brother from Star Wars, before you ask. He's laid-back and easy to approach. Our eyes met and that, as they say, was that. 

He was also quick. You took forever! There is only so much foreplay a girl can take before her mind starts to wander.

What do you mean, I'm shallow?

You wouldn't let me see my friends or even my family! I had to be exclusive to you and it was hard when I saw other books proudly showing off their other formats. You do realise that 'different format' is what shoes are to most female humans. One can never have too many.

We'll still be friends, KDP Select, and I'm not leaving you completely because I adore your big brother. But before we part company, I'd like to leave you with a present. Me.

I'm free for the last time.

Foreplay allowed.
Mwuh!

The Fall of the Misanthrope: I bitch, therefore I am 
is the modern equivalent of Cinderella. 

Valerie Anthrope is 'Cinderella' but her emotions are playing the ugly sisters. A well-meaning friend is the fairy godmother, and a sexy "bed 'em and leave 'em" playboy is Prince Charming. The glass slipper is a kitten and the pumpkin is Tim the boring accountant.

Can the playboy change his ways to save Valerie from herself? Will the fairy godmother's matchmaking end in tears or become a happy ever after?
And will Tim ever stop being boring?
I doubt it.


A dark chick lit for ladies who like heart-warming tales with lots of giggles.
FREE
9th/10th July
(check that Amazon has made it free before purchase)

Aw, sorry you missed the freebie. But I'm still cheap. Only a couple of dollars (or pounds). Hey, that's cheaper than the energy pills my character likes to pop and the hourly rate she'd like to pay her staff if she could get away with it. Well, it is I bitch, therefore I am!

2 comments:

  1. Congrats on the dropping of Select!

    But be warned, Amazon doesn't play fair. Not even 1 day after I dropped from their program a search for my name under books alone, now brings up to 15 unwanted items up on the list. Almost all of them are not books at all.

    I has emailed Amazon, but they insist it is normal, even though it never happened until I dropped from Select.

    ReplyDelete

  2. Thanks for the warning. I'll keep my eyes peeled. :)

    ReplyDelete

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