I Swear I’m Not Trying to Take Over the World (But Sign Up Anyway)
So here’s the thing: I write books.
Not just any books. These are books where aliens have questionable motives, humans make worse decisions than a cat in a cardboard box, and romance happens in the middle of it all because, well, hormones don’t care about planetary politics.
You might be thinking, “Why should I give you my email address?”
Fair question.
Maybe you enjoy bonus content like deleted scenes, secret character files, or sneak peeks before anyone else sees them.
Maybe you like reading updates from authors who are 73% caffeine and 27% internet rage.
Or maybe—just maybe—you want to be prepared for when the alien committee finally takes over and I’m the only one sending out coded warnings via newsletter.
Either way, you should sign up.
I don’t bombard your inbox—mostly because I barely know how this Mailchimp thing works. If I manage to send one email a month, I’m basically a tech goddess.
But I will occasionally send goodies, exclusive content, new releases, and maybe a giveaway or two. You know. The usual bribery.
So go on. Do the thing:
👉 Click here to sign up
Your inbox deserves a little chaos.
—
Still not convinced?
Here’s the kind of subject line you could receive if you join:
‘A Jelvia just broke into my flat. He’s armed, half-naked, and demanding answers… Should I make tea or take off my clothes?’
Priorities.
See you in your inbox,
Louise Wise / T. E. Kessler
(Whichever version of me isn’t being controlled by a neural network)
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