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Saturday, 30 August 2014

OMG! Women write zombie books! @ApacoTaco

Tis the turn of Stevie Kopas 
with her incredibly Boring Author Interview Revisited

What’s so great about your crap book? (Don't want the boring details, a couple of lines is suffice!)
The Breadwinner and Haven are great because I wrote them. I put a lot of time and effort into creating a horrific world for people to get killed in and I’m excited about it. You’ve got a good solid mix of character flow, post apocalyptic adventure and zombie madness. What’s not to love?


If you didn’t have your book professionally edited: What made you think you’re so perfect that you didn’t need to pay a professional?
I didn’t have the money to pay anybody and at the time I didn’t know anybody who I trusted with editing my books.
I know a brilliant chap called John Hudspith (gotta get the plugs where you can!)

Yawn, so basically you're the same as all the rest of the authors on Amazon and you’re the Next Best Thing. I don’t think so. Come on, tell me why should I spend time reading YOUR book over more well-received authors?
I’m a female author in a male dominated genre. I’m also a younger author still in her twenties in a genre dominated by older, more seasoned authors. But I’ve got what it takes to run with the big boys and I never have been, never will be afraid to put my name out there, get my hands dirty and do the damn thing. So if you don’t want to read an awesome horror/zombie book written by a lady like me then you must be too boring.

What qualifications do you have for writing in your genre?
I have absolutely no qualifications for writing in my genre…unless you count my years of secret professional zombie hunting. Then yeah, I don’t see how anybody else could be more qualified than me.
 

Many authors use their qualifications to show off their so-called talents i.e. crime writers are often coppers (police, for the non-Brits present) and the book becomes boringly technical. How have you managed to keep your knowledge low key? Or haven’t you bothered?
I’m not usually supposed to tell people about my years spent in the underground zombie market, but because of my experience with discreet killing, black market trade and sales, I have the upper hand on a lot of people who don’t realize how at any moment, if it weren’t for people like me, things could get out of control and we’d have a zombie apocalypse on our hands.

I'm feeling so much better with you on the streets to protect me, but when you hunt zombies can you keep the noise down? All that wailing (no sure if that's from you or the zombies) is driving me insane!

What part of the world do you come from?
I live in Florida, the very tip of the southeastern United States.


What do you think of your government?
My government told me to tell you that I love them.

Not on your zombie hunting list then?

If you were me (you know, perfect) and knew nothing about a person and you were told to interview them, what’s the one question you would ask? (answer it).

So I guess I’m asking myself what my favorite video game is. Self, what’s your favorite video game? That’s a tough one self, I’d have to call it a toss-up between Fallout and Bioshock.

Do you have any bad habits, or stupid rituals you HAVE to do in order to write?

It always ends up with me either tweaking out from too much coffee or getting shitty from drinking too much wine.

You get shitty from drinking wine? I end up conducting crap interviews!

Authors are usually labelled as ‘dreamers’ and ‘loners’. Have you been labelled as such?
If I have, nobody’s told me to my face. I don’t discriminate and think everyone has asshole tendencies, so if I had to choose between being around people all the time or being by myself, I’d choose hanging with me, me, me. But I do love having an active social life, even if it means I have to tell people to fuck off from time to time.

And what implications do you think that has on a writer?
I think writers need to stop labelling themselves. What’s the point? You want people to think you’re “weird” or “different” because you sit in a basement and drink by yourself while you write you think is your magnum opus? A lot of writers take themselves way too seriously and in turn, disrespect other writers by projecting their pompous vibes onto others. I don’t have time for that, what you see is what you get with me and as a writer, that just means I’m a writer, I don’t have a label or a name for it.

You said it, sister! I've no time for 'up their arses' authors. Why does 'being an author' make some so bloody arrogant? Ugh! OK, best get off this subject before I go into a full-blown rant.

Describe your perfect death (in case I have to kill you)?
Please make sure I’m sleeping, preferably after drinking a good bottle of wine.

Give me the first, middle and end line in your book.
First, middle, and end lines of The Breadwinner, Book 1 in The Breadwinner Trilogy:

  1. Franklin Woods was the most upscale community a person could find in Columbia Beach, Florida.
  2. Veronica’s heart was caught in her throat and her thoughts raced.
  3. She felt his eyes on her but never took hers off the burning building.
First, middle, and end line of Haven, book 2 in The Breadwinner Trilogy:
  1. The gentle rocking of the boat gave Samson little comfort. 
  2. “Fuck.” She whispered under her breath. 
  3. She closed her eyes and gave no further thought to the waking world.
Thank you, Stevie, good luck with your zombie hunting.

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

Salo Maa Neco is as interesting as his Grandad’s old Y-fronts and just as smelly (probably)

 It's another Boring Author Interview! 

What’s so great about your crap book? 
Hey, Toots, did you just call my book ‘crap’? ‘My name is Cinnamon’ isn’t crap. It’s almost literature. It’s the story of two boys growing up in Istanbul. There’s a subtle sexual undercurrent for the grubbier of readers and there’s romance for the sops. There’s a giggle or two along the way, some Istanbul exotic for the fat and lazy armchair travelers, and only the hardest arses of readers won’t cry somewhere between the first and last page. Even men like to shed a little tear while reading a book. Don’t tell anyone I told you that. What’s so great about My name is Cinnamon? I write to the reader’s emotions.  
Amazon.UK | Amazon.com
Toots? Toots?! Hope I got you back with the y-front title.

What do you really think about erotica? Is it the low of lows for writers?
The low of lows for writers is the Dan-Brown-written-for-dimwits genre. Like McBurgers, white bread and SqueezyJet, most of the pap in the ‘Top 10 Bestsellers’ isn’t worth the money or the physical effort to consume it. Erotica on the other hand stokes the reader’s imagination. Surely that’s what separates literature from McBooks. (And, by the way, how cool is an eBook device for hiding what you’re reading? No cover to give away your grubby little secret. You can say you’re reading Peter Hopkirk’s The Great Game which is awfully intellectual when really you’re really reading Madam Chirac’s 69 Lacey Romps in Paris. Or Harry Potter.) Look, I work in an awfully proper school and so I’m expected to be awfully proper. But who is? I escape into my eBooks and, if anything, they look at me and think, how awfully modern.  

If you didn’t have your book professionally edited, what makes you think you’re so perfect that you didn’t need to pay a professional? 
I may not be a perfect bastard but I am a very pedantic one. No one except my mother is pickier than me. Maybe my primary school teacher who still writes to correct the occasional error in my blog is pickier. I’ve read, re-read, edited, and re-edited my books. Each took over three years from conception to birth, baby. Like sex. Slower is better. I’ve had no complaints. By the way, it’s an art. What one person thinks is perfection, others may not. What tickles one fancy... we’re still talking about my books, aren’t we? 
You're still in contact with your primary school teacher? Wow. But yes, I agree, perfecting books takes time and the more time the better it will be (get it out of your head and onto a computer should be the fastest part of writing).

Those writers (usually those blinded to a publisher) who are on a contract to write several books a year can't be turning out quality books. Anyway, back to the questions...

Why should I spend time reading YOUR book over more well received authors? 
My bookshelves are filled with unheard of authors. Who are those ‘more well received’ authors? Do you mean the ones with the correct number of syllables in their pseudo-names? They who write to a formula of 95,000 words and 20 chapters and mentioning sex in the first page? The ones who write books for the train or plane ride? The ones who are puppets for the publishing companies? I’m glad you asked, Toots. You should read my book because it’ll make you think and feel. The Look Inside feature is the eReader’s best tool now. Forget reviews. Forget Waterstones’ ‘best seller’ list. Read the first 5% of any McBook if you can and then read the first 5% of My name is Cinnamon. Try it Toots. Dip your fingers in and wiggle them around. I think you’ll like it. I’m sure you’ll want more.
Panting...

Is there an author who you inspire / perspire to be like? 
(I think you mean aspire but, as you pointed out, I’m not a professional editor.)  
Smart arse.

Do you think you write better than them? Is your aim to out sell them? 
Yes, no, and yes. Joanne Harris writes artfully. Chocolat, Blackberry Wine, Gentlemen and Players... These are literary works of art. I write at least as well as her and yes, I want to outsell her. I want to sell so many books that, like her, I can quit my day job. I liked John Irving’s earlier books but after a while the bears, wrestling, New England and boyhood sexual encounters with aggressive older women began to feel done. 

In the writing world have you ever regretted anything, i.e. written your own review or written a bad review for a competitor, argued online, copied someone else’s idea. 
Yes. I’ve regretted not being more ruthless. I’ve not done any of these things you mention. I was busy angsting over apostrophes and split infinitives and the feel of slicing a person’s throat with a very sharp knife. One of my books (Survivors) begins with an Ebola pandemic. I’ve not had the ruthlessness to exploit that by diving into chatrooms to comment about the current African tragedy and then shamelessly promoting ‘Survivors’. The big publishers wouldn’t hesitate. They probably even start such outbreaks to sell books they’ve had written by their drones and bots.
That's the trouble with being a writer, we're not natural at selling. Time to push ourselves? Those on the Amazon/Goodreads forums won't agree though.

What qualifications do you have for writing in your genre? Many authors use their qualifications to show off their talents and the book becomes boring. How have you avoided this? 
I’m a Teacher and a Psychologist (yes, Toots, they’re both proper nouns so leave the capitals where they are). Er, OK, (presses the undone button) I study abnormal behaviour. I work with sexual deviants and adventurers and criminals. I’m their father and counsellor and parole officer. I watch their eyes and I smell them and I see the way they scratch themselves. I know what they’re thinking and who they’re thinking it about. I know who they want to kill and who they want to caress and seduce and tie up with lace and who they want to string up with rope.
Not a primary school teacher, then!

If I were to read your book would I have to scroll through lots of acknowledgements? Or recommendations?
No, Toots. My books and I are not American. I trust my reader to appreciate my first few paragraphs and then I trust my writing to seduce the reader. I do understand that the McPublishers think readers have to be told what they like. I don’t.

Is your book set outside England? Would I understand the jargon? 
I’m from neither American nor Britain so I know to be careful with our English language. There are no footpaths, piss or fannies in My name is Cinnamon. It’s set in Istanbul and so there are some Turkish bits but, fret not Toots, these are explained when necessary. I think we’re all getting a little too precious about the trans-Atlantic divide. Perhaps the Americans and Brits ought to understand that the English language is now owned and operated by quite a few more people than just them. I first really understood this back in high school when I suddenly understood the caption: Minnie Mouse was speaking to Mickey Mouse. She said, “Kiss me Mick.”
Nope, it's sailed over my head.
I'd like to say that the English language is owed by Britain, only parts of it has been adopted by other countries and moulded into their family (country ideals) making it neither wrong or right but just 'the way it is'. It's made the language richer, stranger, frustrating at times but a lot more fun!

Why that shitty title? Did you run out of ideas?
The story is told by Tarsin. That’s his name. It’s also the Turkish word for cinnamon. “It used to be a spice more valuable than gold. Now they sprinkle me on cappuccinos. Everyone in Istanbul knows about change.” I thought it was a better title than, Fifty Shades of Bad Grammar or And to think I saw it all on Mulberry Street. Oh and by the way, my imagination won’t ever run out of ideas. 

If you were me (you know, perfect) and knew nothing about  a person and you were told to interview them, what’s the one question you would ask, and answer it. 
Is there any question you wouldn’t want me to ask you? I’d hate it if you asked if my book is in any way autobiographical. Yes, it is. Throughout the whole book I’m there as a little bit of this character and little bit of that one. I did that. I said that. I saw that. I ate that. I felt that fear. I lusted after that. And I cried just like that.  

How long did it take to complete your book? If it took over a year, is it boring and laborious to read? 
It took about three years to complete. It took about 3 weeks to write the first draft and then it was left to mature. After a few months it reeked like an old cheese so I refined it and put it away again. Then it stank so I rewrote here and there. That stench matured into an possibly acceptable Roquefort-esque odour and after several more rewrites that odour became the gentle sweet fragrance of a ripe baby camembert. I wouldn’t inflict boring and laborious on anyone, least of all me.  

Any bad habits or rituals you HAVE to do in order to write? 
We are what we eat. My writing comes from my food and drink: chocolate of course, red wine that’s made and bottled just up the hill from where I write, and really tasty coffee made in a French press. Pistachios too but they have to be in a brown paper bag and eaten outdoors, near the ocean, while talking with your childhood friend.
Sounds heavenly. Want a lodger? 

Authors are often labelled as dreamers and loners. Have you been labelled as such? What implications does this have on your writing? 
Did you just read my name-tag? I’ve travelled the world, mostly on my own, thinking and dreaming all the way. This doesn’t have implications for my writing. It is my writing. My name is Cinnamon is all about a little boy who thinks he cures the world of loneliness and maybe he does it with a very sharp knife. Again and again. Or maybe he was just a  dreamer and a loner. 

What do you think of social media?
It’s a lot like sex. It’s can be good. It can be bad. You shouldn’t let it take over your life. And don’t do it with family members. Or animals. 

Describe your perfect death.
If it’s someone I like, the perfect death is to die while asleep. The heart stops, the dream ends, you stay warm under the duvet.

If it’s someone I hate, it has to be very slow and agonising. Funny you ask because my next book has twenty murders and the killer hates every one of his victims. He doesn’t just want to kill them, he needs them to suffer. Drowning, eventually, in a dark, rat-infested storm water drain. Eaten over several days by eagles. A good sharp knife is hard to beat. It’s precise and tactile and simple. Guns jam up and poisoning can go badly wrong but it’s very difficult to kill badly with a beautifully sharp knife. Don’t you think? They have to know they’re dying. They have to know why they’re dying. They have to fear death. It’s no good if they’re expecting seventy virgins or eternal peace. They have to believe in flames. They have to know its inevitable and most of all they have to know who’s holding the beautifully sharp knife.

Hmm, what about severing a limb or extracting an organ, and keeping the victim alive to suffer for a while longer by having him eat his own flesh and drink his own blood?

Well, you did ask.
Er, I meant your death. But I don't think my stomach could face the answer!

Give me the first, middle and end line in your book. 
First: This is the story of Esref, an intelligent, handsome, warm-hearted little boy who lived in Istanbul and who changed the world.

Middle: ‘And the best stories often have hidden messages that sometimes only the story teller knows and everyone else just has to guess.’

Last: He was and still is ‘canim’, my life.

Thanks for answering my questions and scaring me witless with your answers! 

Sunday, 24 August 2014

Do all author interviews have to be boring? Er, yes...

Next in line for the Boring Author Interview Revisited is...
Peter Morin

What do you really think about erotica? Is it the low of the lows for writers?
Remember that Budweiser is the #1 selling beer in the world. That only means that people who drink Budweiser have no idea what good beer is.


BN | Amazon | Smash | iTunes
I personally don’t see the point of erotica when so much real sex is available via more engrossing media. Although you can’t do Skype sex on an airplane. (Note: I am not speaking out of personal experience.)
That's not what I've heard...

What qualifications do you have for writing in your genre?
Many authors use their qualifications to show off their so-called talents i.e. crime writers are often coppers (police, for the non-Brits present) and the book becomes boringly technical. How have you managed to keep your knowledge low key? Or haven’t you bothered?
As everyone knows, lawyers never show off. That’s a ridiculous notion. We are sober, restrained and never lie. I have the special honor of being both a lawyer and ex-politician, so I am even more exemplary.

Diary of a Small Fish has a lot of legal mumbo jumbo in it. The greatest compliment I have been paid is from those who said they knew nothing about law and hated politics, but they enjoyed the book, because it was all explained so simply.

What part of the world do you come from? What do you think of your government?
I am from Boston, which is why I write about politics. Because politics in Boston is a spectator contact sport. I respect our system of government, but it is irretrievably crippled and incapable of effective operation, in any of its many iterations. I despise most politicians because they’re too stupid, greedy or ambitious to recognize this inescapable fact.

Why that shitty title? Did you run out of ideas?
It was supposed to be DAIRY of a Small Fish. I misspelled it, the cover artist didn’t pick it up, and I was too cheap to fix it.
Ha! 'Diary' has a better ring to it than 'dairy', I must admit--grudgingly

Authors are usually labelled as ‘dreamers’ and ‘loners’. Have you been labelled as such? And what implications do you think that has on a writer?
I am neither a dreamer nor a loner, but if I were, and someone called me that, I’d beat the shit out of them and brag to my friends about it.
There was something circulating on Facebook about heaps of shit in Boston...

What do you think of social media (pick one answer):
1. Somewhere to advertise my book.
2. Somewhere to interact with other writers.
3. Somewhere to find information.
4. All of the above.

I’m deviating:
5. An effective procrastination tool.

Procrastination is the MOST important work of the day for a writer, I have you know!

Give me the first, middle and end line in your book.
  1. I used to play an obscene amount of golf at the exclusive Hyannisport Club.
  2. “My take is your golf partner is singing like Maria Callas.”
  3. I’m not holding my breath.

Thank you Pete, it's been a pleasure. But so's sleeping. Zzzzzz...

Thursday, 21 August 2014

Richard Murray's Killing the Dead (and me) with this BORING interview

Boring Author Interviews Revisited...

Amazon.UK | Amazon.com
What’s so great about your crap book? (Don't want the boring details, a couple of lines is suffice!)
A serial killer free to do as he pleases in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. No boring morality, just fun... for him at least.

What do you really think about erotica? 

I don’t really read it. 
Bet you're one of those secret readers who hides an erotica title inside a literary novel.

Is it the low of the lows for writers? 
I think it is a genre that sells and sells well. It’s no different than any other genre.
Told ya!

If you didn’t have your book professionally edited: What made you think you’re so perfect that you didn’t need to pay a professional?
I had my mother edit it since she at least is university educated and will do it for free.

Oh-oh, mums are biased. At least, mine is, and loves everything I do.

Yawn, so basically you're the same as all the rest of the authors on Amazon and you’re the Next Best Thing. I don’t think so. Come on, tell me why should I spend time reading YOUR book over more well-received authors?
Well because I slaved over that book darn it! Or perhaps because it is a little bit different from the rest. Serial Killer in an apocalypse, what’s not to love?
I must admit, it does sound interesting.

Is there an author who inspires (perspires) you?
No one in particular.


Do you think you write better than them? 
Nope I am still learning and happy to improve.

Is your aim to out-sell them? 
No.
You're too nice. You should wanna out-sell every damn writer out there!

In the writing world, have you ever regretted anything i.e written your own review (or written a bad review on a competitor's novel), argued on-line, copied someone else's idea? 
No, I have enough of my own ideas to keep me going for years. I don’t see the point of writing my own review and I would avoid reviewing competitors work because... well they are competitors so it wouldn’t be unbiased.

What qualifications do you have for writing in your genre?
Nope, nothing more than a love or stories.
Emotions of the heart--maybe the best qualification of all!

If I were to read your book would I have to scroll through lots of acknowledgements saying how wonderful your book is before I got to the meat of a story? 
No. Straight into the story and the book ends the same way... am I supposed to acknowledge someone?
Your poor mum who has to edit your frigging book for free! Sheesh!

What part of the world do you come from?  

England
Where all the best writers come from...

Why that shitty title? 
I felt it was appropriate for a book about zombies.
Not very original though, is it?

Did you run out of ideas?

Nope, still plenty of those. 
Just, unfortunately, shitty ones.  

How long did it take you to complete your book (from idea to publication)? 
Somewhere short of three months and a stupendous amount of hours.

If it took under a year to write: It didn’t take you long to write so does that mean it is poorly researched, edited and written on a whim? 

Not at all. My first work is 40k words long. With my average wpm typing skills and the number of hours I spent working on it, I should have had approx 400k words or more so a great deal of my time was spent trying to make it accurate and as error free as possible. 

Do you have any bad habits, or stupid rituals you HAVE to do in order to write? 
I have to be fairly distraction free. Usually sat alone with my computer, cup of coffee, maps, reference documents, character sheets open on one half of my monitor and my main doc open on the other. Some classical music or even the three hour recording of thunderstorms playing. Anything other than that and I will struggle.
Hang on, three-hour recording of thunderstorms? Now, I wonder where people outside of Blighty get the impression that England is full of eccentrics? 

Authors are usually labelled as ‘dreamers’ and ‘loners’. Have you been labelled as such? And what implications do you think that has on a writer? 
Yes I have often been labelled a dreamer and I am a loner by nature. The implication for me is that I struggle with dialogue and character interaction. Perhaps that is reflected in the main character of my work.

Does ‘being a writer’ make you feel like an outsider with normal, everyday people such as your family and friends? 

I have found that it is harder now. I want to talk about writing, about my newest work or reviews. I want to dissect parts of the story and I fear that I am boring the hell out of them.
I get where you're coming from. Just as well there are lots of writing forums around where we can take it in turns to bore one another.

Describe your perfect death (in case I have to kill you)?

Standing on the Earth as the sun explodes and engulfs the world... likely in a billion or so years from now. I am happy to wait.



Thank you Richard. Now go and buy your mother some flowers, tight git.

Monday, 18 August 2014

Oh no, not another bloody author interview! @outfortune

  First up for the boring author interview revisited is 
Stephen Kozeniewski
 
Amazon.com | Amazon.UK

What do you really think about erotica?
Well, it’s just porn, right? What’s the difference between erotica and porn anyway? Well, I guess people aren’t ashamed to say they watch porn…


Is it the low of the lows for writers?
Nope. That would be monster erotica. Which I guess is a kind of erotica. So yes.


If I were to read your book would I have to scroll through lots of acknowledgements saying how wonderful your book is before I got to the meat of a story?

Nah. The acknowledgements all go at the end.

What part of the world do you come from?  
The U.S. of Motherfuckin’ A., motherfuckers!!!
I'd swear if I lived in America, too.

What do you think of your government?
It seems to be a weird hybrid of the Mafia and a human centipede.


If your book is set outside England would I understand your jargon? I mean, fanny means lady front parts NOT backside, car hood is a car bonnet--everyone knows that, right? Are British Englishisms/Americanisms/Australianisms etc important in your book? It's all about identity, isn't it?
Funny old question, that. Although ostensibly my book is set in a dystopian America, the clones do have a lot of uniquely British habits. They go to pubs, play darts, and eat pot noodles. Wait a minute, did you say fanny means frontside? Does that mean a fanny pack is like a tampon in England?

The proper name is bum bag, but that's something you'd not understand being an American and a guy. Not much going for you, is there?

Why that shitty title?  
As my first 1-star reviewer somehow figured out, I stole the shit out of it. I’ve been desperately praying no one who reads it has ever heard of the Simpsons.

Did you run out of ideas?  
Of course! Why do you think everyone in the bleedin’ book is a bleedin’ clone? (How was that for Englishisms?)
Er, stick to your American drawl, your English stinks.

If you were me (you know, perfect) and knew nothing about a person and you were told to interview them, what’s the one question you would ask? (answer it).
Q: Would you bang Kim Kardashian if she was STD-free?
A: Hell no. Khloe, though…

Wear a condom just in case.

How long did it take you to complete your book (from idea to publication)?  
Like 5 weeks.

It didn’t take you long to write so does that mean it is poorly researched, edited and written on a whim?
Re…search…?

Thanks Stephen. Mind how you go, no really, mind how you go.

Wednesday, 6 August 2014

The BORING author interview revisited.


We all know how precious authors are about their books, so the words 'author interview' will bring loud groans of despair to many, believing the interview will long-winded and self-gratifying. So how about an author interview with a difference?

The derogatory questions (below) are for you to copy ‘n’ paste (don't feel you have to do all. Just pick the ones you want to answer). Then, I will post the 'interview' back here.

Together with your answers, send a JPEG cover of the book you've chosen to answer the questions about, plus purchase links.

Get creative! Be rude! Be funny, naughty...  
Questions highlighted should NOT be split as they run on to the next.

Here goes...

What’s so great about your crap book? (Don't want the boring details, a couple of lines is suffice!)

What do you really think about erotica?
Is it the low of the lows for writers?


If you didn’t have your book professionally edited: What made you think you’re so perfect that you didn’t need to pay a professional?

Yawn, so basically you're the same as all the rest of the authors on Amazon and you’re the Next Best Thing. I don’t think so. Come on, tell me why should I spend time reading YOUR book over more well-received authors?

Is there an author who inspires (perspires) you?
Do you think you write better than them?
Is your aim to out-sell them?


In the writing world, have you ever regretted anything i.e written your own review (or written a bad review on a competitor's novel), argued on-line, copied someone else's idea?

What qualifications do you have for writing in your genre?
Many authors use their qualifications to show off their so-called talents i.e. crime writers are often coppers (police, for the non-Brits present) and the book becomes boringly technical. How have you managed to keep your knowledge low key? Or haven’t you bothered?


If I were to read your book would I have to scroll through lots of acknowledgements saying how wonderful your book is before I got to the meat of a story?

What part of the world do you come from?
What do you think of your government?


If your book is set outside England would I understand your jargon? I mean, fanny means lady front parts NOT backside, car hood is a car bonnet--everyone knows that, right? Are British Englishisms/Americanisms/Australianisms etc important in your book? It's all about identity, isn't it?

Why that shitty title?
Did you run out of ideas?


If you were me (you know, perfect) and knew nothing about a person and you were told to interview them, what’s the one question you would ask? (answer it).

How long did it take you to complete your book (from idea to publication)?
If it took under a year to write: It didn’t take you long to write so does that mean it is poorly researched, edited and written on a whim?
If it took over a year to write: Does that mean this book is boringly long and laborious to read?


Do you have any bad habits, or stupid rituals you HAVE to do in order to write?

Authors are usually labelled as ‘dreamers’ and ‘loners’. 
Have you been labelled as such? 
And what implications do you think that has on a writer?

What do you think of social media (pick one answer):
1. Somewhere to advertise my book.
2. Somewhere to interact with other writers.
3. Somewhere to find information.
4. All of the above.

Does ‘being a writer’ make you feel like an outsider with normal, everyday people such as your family and friends?
 
Describe your perfect death (in case I have to kill you)?

Give me the first, middle and end line in your book.


That's wasn't too hard, was it? Right send them back them with your book cover and purchase links and I'll post them here for all to see (will be sent automatically to Goodreads, Facebook and Twitter). Your book will also be placed on Pinterest.

Email: wiselouise(AT)gmail.com or Email


Ends 18th August
where completed interviews will be placed here.